Category Archives: TA/OA Confession

Thrilling And/Or Appalling Confession #11

TA/OA Confession #11: I’ve skipped more than one trip to the Y this week to continue my marathon of Pretty Little Liars.


It is the stupidest show. But I’m in it for the long haul, and I’m totally gay for Spencer even though Emily is the gay PLL. I also have the hots for Ezra despite his being named “Ezra”.

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Thrilling And/Or Appalling Confession #10

TA/OA Confession #10: I still have the hots for Diplo, even though I just realized he’s in that Die Antwoord video with all the penises.

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Thrilling And/Or Appalling Confession #9

I never really watched Sex and The City before. I hated women who identified themselves as “a Carrie” or “a Samantha”, so I wanted no part of the phenomenon.

But Justin and I have access to HBO Go these days, so I figured, why the hell not? And I watched the whole series in about a month. Guess what, y’all? I’m a total Carrie! But Samantha is gross.

This week, Justin’s mom visited and brought along her foreign exchange student from Brazil, Milene. We wanted to entertain her, so we went to the Arch, the Fabulous Fox, Busch Stadium (her parents are huge baseball fans), City Garden, and the City Museum. We also gave her a tour of my work because she loves animals and she’s passionate about dog rescue. We ate at some of the best restaurants downtown: Kota, Rooster, Bailey’s Range, and the Old Spaghetti Factory.

We stopped by Mad Art Gallery so Justin’s mom could see where we’re going to get married. Justin and I walked to Laclede’s Landing today and took the long way to the grocery store because it was so gorgeous outside. And to top it off, I ran 5 miles yesterday and 5 miles today.

So, I earned the right to watch something dumb today, right?

TA/OA Confession #9: I watched the movie Sex and The City 2 in the bathtub*–and I liked it.

*The last half. My bathtub wouldn’t let me spend 150 minutes in there even if I wanted to. It’s not that bad if you pretend it’s just 5 episodes in a row. Also, I liked the feminist message of the movie, but I was just as horrified by Samantha as the men in the Arab Emirates. “Lawrence of My Labia”?  *shudder infinity*

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Thrilling And/Or Appalling Confession #8

TA/OA Confession #8 – I’m really sad I don’t have time to go to Branson and see The Osmonds this Christmas.

I’ve been obsessed with The Osmonds this year – something I’ll go into more detail about someday – and I really want to see them all perform together while I still can. I’m going to act like these chicks:

They sound a little less than perfect in this clip, but you should know that Jay (the crazy dancing Osmond) usually plays the drums, and Merrill (the one playing drums) usually plays lead guitar. I didn’t know they switched it up until I saw this clip. Merrill may have just replaced Alan as my second-favorite Osmond. (Jay is my fave.)

And if you think this is nerdy, you can just SHUT YOUR G*DD*MN NON-MORMAN FACE OKAY.

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Hot For The Osmonds

You guys, I have five tiny little boners in my heart. Adorable heart boners. In matching outfits.

FUN FACT: The Osmonds f*#&ing rocked.

For further evidence that they rocked and were totally hot, check out Crazy Horses. (PHILOSOPHICAL SIDENOTE: if a YouTube video is “embedding disabled”, does it really exist?)

I’ve been trying to spread the gospel of The Osmonds and their, like, three rocking songs for a week now.

Pandy and I have crushes on all of them (hold ME tight, Merrill), but we both agreed that in the above video, Donnie Osmond reminds us of Shane from The L Word. This fact confuses us in about ten thousand different ways that our bodies do not understand, and it drags up a lot of old issues that he and I promised to never mention again.

P.S. I saw Paul Simon tonight!!! He sang “Mrs. Robinson”!! Wheeee!!!

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Thrilling And/Or Appalling Confession #7

I thought about this when I was writing that list of random facts, but I think it deserves to be a TA/OA confession. This one is heavy, so get ready.

TA/OA Confession #7: I really, seriously love powdered foods.

I don’t actually eat stuff as straight powder anymore. I get really happy if there is an unmixed clump of it on my fork. Needless to say, streusel is still a fave. I try to eat like a grown-up… but when I was a child, if it was powder, I wanted it straight.

Nestle Quik. Cake mix. Country Time Lemonade. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese cheese. DELICIOUS.

One day, my mom and I were baking cookies and she looked over just as I was dipping a spoon into the flour jar. And then I straight-up ate it. I ate flour. She didn’t even know to react. Like, who does that? Answer:

I think I got this from my Grandpa. He and I used to have weekly contests over who could dump the most parmesan into our SpagettiO’s. I don’t know if there was ever a winner; my Grandma would always get grossed out and beg us to stop.

There may be a direct correlation between all the spooky chemicals and preservatives that I ingested as a child, and the ease of which I am confessing this to you now. But in the future, when we are all stuck in space stations with protein shake powder and no water? It will be up to me to keep humanity going.

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Thrilling And/Or Appalling Confession #6

Ever since the “Ireland Incident”, I’ve had to spend a lot of time at the dentist.* And I have to say, getting a root canal on my front tooth 5 years ago has made me immune to the usual fears and pains associated with “Dr. Smile.”

I feel absolutely zero pain when I go to the dentist, even when I’m getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I know everyone on the staff and it’s like catching up with old friends. I think the chairs are super comfortable. I can hold entire conversations with a mouth full of cotton. I know what number is assigned to each tooth. I even know the color (C3 with a dash of A3).

You know how babies won’t sleep unless they’re in a moving car? Fire up that drill, aim towards my cavities and I’m out like a light. The most refreshing nap I’ve ever had was a few months ago when I got a crown.

TA/OA Confession #9: I LOVE going to the dentist.

I think dentists get a bad rap because of Steve Martin. This song is to dentists what the movie “It” is to clowns:

“Watch him suck up that gas – oh my god!” Still cracks me up.

*I wrote about this years ago but that entry was god awful. I will give it a proper re-telling soon (and it will be much more fun now that I hate that guy).

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