I’ll write soon. Things are nuts.

 

Speaking of (bloody) nuts, my partner Kim treated a bunch of us to The Room of horror movies, Pieces. So funny!

NSFW–and apologies for the end. We were just as horrified:

Dog Days

Here’s a link to the video Kim and I helped make. You can see us in the Making Of video! We’re almost to 40,000 hits as of today, which is cool.

Full disclaimer: I did not name this video.

 

Don’t Mess With Charlie

Thank you for tolerating my Lucy-themed entry and comments for the last few days, as I’ve never posted one before. (As far as the internet is concerned, I’m a virgin and I plan to stay that way forever–like in real life, of course.) As a token of my gratitude, I give you this:

P.S. The bitchslap at :24 is perfect.

 

Toof Hurty

Justin is soooo close to finishing his film! Here’s a teaser:

I love this guy so much!

Sam I Am

When I started moving everything over to WordPress (4 years down, 2 to go), I realized that I’ve written a lot about my dad and I should probably make a category for it. All the Dad entries are labeled Sam I Am.

My dad’s name wasn’t Sam, but that was his nickname all the way through college. It started when he was a kid, when he was cornered by some bullies. Here he is explaining it:

I shot that video before one of his leg amputations. It was probably the second one. I really didn’t think his body would make it through another surgery like that. He was stronger than anyone imagined. When you’re faced with the idea of losing a parent, you start asking them as many questions as possible. This was one of those times.

I don’t know why I taped it. I DO know that my Grandma was on fire that day (and that, clearly, I am a terrible liar):

I’ve been trying to avoid posting two Dad entries in a row, but I’ve been missing him a lot the last few days. If you’re sincerely bummed out now, then you might want to revisit this old gem. (I got screamed at on the highway to get you guys that one. You’re welcome.)

3 Cheers for the Weirs – Revisited

It’s been exactly a year since I threw the concert for my parents, and I feel like if I’m ever going to write about it, it might as well be now.

For those of you who don’t know, my dad had both of his legs amputated about 15 months ago, due to Type 1 diabetes. This was after a triple bypass and several vein replacements the year before, not to mention losing an eye two decades earlier. When I first thought about this concert, only one leg was missing and I had hoped to buy a prosthetic with the money. Soon, both legs were gone, he developed a category 4 bedsore, and it became apparent that (because of his blindness), he would require 24/7 care – most likely (and as it turns out) for the rest of his life.

The actual money I raised (around $3,000) paid for a hospital bed, a trapeze bar for above the bed (so he could exercise), a portion of an expensive wheelchair and medical supplies. It was much needed, and I know this because I had to pick up a lot of equipment and run to the pharmacy for him almost daily. My dad was expensive – worth every penny, but expensive. Above, you’ll see the receipt for my first trip to the pharmacy for him – $538.39.

I didn’t write about it right away because I wanted time to let it absorb. Then, around the middle of December, he got sick again. He had gastroparesis, which makes patients feel full even though they haven’t eaten. As a diabetic, eating was essential, and the doctors were having trouble getting a feeding tube to work. The day before Christmas, my brother went to the hospital with my mom to speak to counselors about end-of-life decisions. I thought he was going to die on Christmas. My concert seemed pretty pointless, my initial optimism  seemed childish, and in addition to the sadness, I felt like I had let everyone down.

However, he came home soon after, and aside from one more hospital stay, he spent the last 7 months of his life at home, in the house where he lived for over 30 years. My mom was with him almost 24/7, and when I moved home in mid-May, he got to see me every day, too. He had a lot of visitors and got to spend holidays like Easter sitting at the head of the dining room table, just like he used to. The equipment helped make all of this possible, and the concert helped bring the equipment home, so it was worth it.

Man, when I started this entry, I wanted it to be about the concert itself and all the positivity, but it’s impossible to explain even the facts of my dad’s story without being long-winded and heavy. Anyway:

The concert was amazing. There were so many friends from so many different parts of my life, and I think I even remarked onstage that it was kind of like a wedding in that respect – when would I get all of those people in the same room again? I remember choking up during my speech (and saying, “Shit.” when I did). I told everyone that my family spent so much time sitting around in hospital rooms that we would run out of things to talk about. And when that happened, I would tell them about my friends. My parents knew about almost everything that happened to my friends, and asked about them, too. “How’s Warren’s house?” “How’s Emily’s baby?” “Does Ron like teaching?” “Did Jen get over her cold?”

I told the crowd, “You all mean a lot to my parents, because you mean a lot to me. And it’s really nice that I can tell my parents that the same is true about them.”

I can’t tell you how amazing it was in the weeks leading up to the show – businesses handed over gift certificates without blinking, Off Broadway opened their doors gladly (and for free), friends like Janet and Ann pitched in to make fliers and banners, Rob brought pizza for the bands, and all the musicians/friends I asked to play gladly accepted.  Erin (who was still a relatively new friend at the time) gathered money from her co-workers, promoted the shit out of the show, and brought several friends with her.

Friends bought insane amounts of raffle tickets from my boyfriend (in his cute raffle outfit). I remember one friend buying 40 at once! Oh, here’s one complaint – I kept picking the same 5 winners, no matter how hard I shook that bucket. What the hell? One friend handed me a $100 check on the spot and another friend hugged me and slipped me a wad of cash for just as much.

I also got tons of checks in the mail – one of the first was from my first grade teacher, all the way from Texas. Hell, I even got a huge check from an ex who had every right to hate me. I raised almost twice as much from these checks – a part I wasn’t even expecting as first – than I did from the actual concert.

The staff at Off Broadway was awesome, too. They gave me drinks on the house and the door guy kept diligent track of the amount of guests (80) and the money they gave. He made me pull up to the front door and walked me to the car with all of my cash. And speaking of the cash – have y’all ever walked downtown with a huge stack of bills? I had to, because that’s where my bank is. I thought I was going to die.

Overall, the whole experience was overwhelming. When I got home that night, I was sitting on my bed holding all the money, and I just burst into tears out of exhaustion and gratitude. And as you’ll see from the following video, my mom did, too:

So I know this is about a year too late, and I thanked everyone who needed to be thanked already, but I wanted to reiterate how amazing this was. I knew that putting together a concert would be helpful and therapeutic, but I wasn’t expecting so much support and kindness and positivity. I didn’t have the time or the money to help my parents, so I used what I had – friends. Talented, generous, incredible friends. And what I received from everyone involved didn’t just carry me financially – it gave me what I needed emotionally to survive this last year. So once again, thank you from the bottom (and top, and middle) of my heart.

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He Could Teach You, But He’d Have To Charge

Justin made another mix for me, and he put this on it. Unironically:

Team Adorbs: Chauncey and Justin

Team Adorbs: Charlie Vs. Bacon

Team Adorbs: Charlie and the Wheat Thins

Man, I Miss Living Next Door to Warren

Hahaha, what on earth:

(The fart beat is my favorite part. This is why you keep certain friends for 16 years.)

All Sorts of Swoony

I’m sure he’ll come up at some point… and you will all swoon with me yet want to barf at the sweetness. Turns out the crush had a crush on me too, and I have been floating on cloud 9 for weeks. But until I have something…. blogable (as opposed to gushable and bragable, which you already know if you’ve talked to me), just know that right now, life feels like this:

And as usually, this:

Show Me That Smile Again

Okay, feeling better today, at least about moving. I saw the house last night and it’s pretty adorable.

My closet is actually the staircase to the attic, which is the kind of cool room a kid on an 80′s sitcom would have and I love it. There is a sunroom for all my plants, a giant bathtub, new windows and a track nearby. Plus, the area is eerily nice for South City… Jason and I decided our neighborhood should always have a man with a top-hat and a cane dancing down the street. However, Nick and Dan told me my car will still be broken into at least once.

~~~*~~~

On Sunday, RØB had a party/concert in his garage. Squid Paynis and his band The Climax performed, as well as Sebastian Clarke & Normandie Wilson, who were so lovely. I sat and cuddled/talked to my crush the whole time. People were beer-bonging Stag all night and it was fun to watch. When folks walk away from the Squidbong it looks like they just got off of a ride at Six Flags – soaking wet and laughing and clapping.

RØB still lives next door to like 200 kids (the ones who hula hooped with us last year) and they kept wandering over to the party at the most inappropriate times. I shot a video of when they rolled up just after the boys finished filling up the Squidbong. Here’s Sebastian doing damage control:

(They spent the whole day breaking things and climbing on the roof and stuff, so I don’t think anything we did could have fazed them.)

I didn’t end up hanging out with Ian on Sunday, but I wasn’t surprised and I haven’t seen the dude in about four years; I can wait a little longer. I had fun with the person I was with. Normandie gave me her bathrobe for some reason. Awesome night.

~~~*~~~

On Monday, we all hung out on Justin’s roof again. The theme of the night was Special People, with episodes of Punky Brewster, Reading Rainbow, Degrassi and Saved By The Bell. The feature film was a childhood favorite of mine, The Boy Who Could Fly. Chilly night. More snuggling. Loft exploring. Happy dance.

Tuesday I watched some True Blood with Jen and iPhone Zombie Ron. Love them.

Found out people in my family are sick again. Multiple people. Possibly permanently. Back to my second home at the hospital. I’ve gotten to the point where it doesn’t even surprise me anymore. So, obviously not happy news but not as devastated as I should be. After the past year, it’s become the norm. I toldja something would put a damper on the happy parts… I can always feel this coming.

OH and this didn’t happen to me, but Janet and Courtney went to Twin Peaks Fest! They went to all the places from the show and hung out with the giant and Lucy. How awesome is that? They are TCP All-Stars. It’s a camping festival but you can stay in the Great Northern if you’re not a camping person. DONE. I’m so going next year.

~~~*~~~

Wednesday night was totally beautiful, at least – I went to the Botanical Gardens with Jen, Ron, Nick, Jessica and Dan. Ran into Kevin’s brother Dan and his girlfriend Monica.
We listened to music and wandered around parts of the garden that I’ve never seen before. I talked to Dan a lot; that made me happy.

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Towards the end of the night we just lounged around. A bat took a liking to us and just circled overhead. I curled up on a quilt, either on my back to watch the bat and the moon, or on my tummy to text with my crush. The bat flew so low it almost kissed me and we all screamed. Lightning bugs were everywhere and a fat kid in tie-dye kept dancing past us while playing a flute.

~~~*~~~

Tonight a cute boy is making me nachos. (Smile) This weekend is full of good times, too. Oh, and by the time you read this, Shortcake will have probably reached 300,000 hits? Fun stuff, for the most part. Enough that it overshadows the bad. I’m looking forward to a lot of things.

So dudes, what color should I paint my room? This is what all my stuff looks like. I’m thinking about sticking with brown, though I always liked the blueish white from my old room, too. If a great color springs to mind, please let me know! I’m stumped.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot (4)

Meet My New Roommate

What’s Up With Charlie?

Sometimes I Think The Internet Reads My Mind

‘Roid Rage

On Wednesday, I got this really horrible headache. It hasn’t gone away.

I went to the doctor on Friday. He did all the standard neurological tests and prescribed things to help, but he threw around enough scary words and warnings that I’m scared to do anything strenuous like running. And wow, do I need to run.

I have to get an MRI on Monday. I can’t really afford it. I’m stressed about that.

He gave me temporary steroids to… well, they aren’t doing shit except making me emotional and upset and anxious on top of all the pain.

A lot of people have hurt my feelings or crossed a line or let me down lately. But I haven’t said much about it because I don’t know how much is real emotion and how much is me overreacting from this medicine.

Everything was finally coming together. Things I have spent years or even decades trying to fix were finally under control or even totally better. It’s like I couldn’t even get one fucking day to feel normal. Not even one.

I’m angry. There’s some sadness in there and a lot of loneliness and disappointment. But mostly I’m really angry today.

~~~*~~~

Even when I am at my worst, I like to make sure you guys are happy you clicked on this blog. So…

When I was sitting in the waiting room at the doctor FOR AN HOUR (ROID RAGE STEPHIE ANGRY RAAH) I noticed a box on the counter that said “Occult Blood.” I thought that was rad in a Black Sabbath way. Then I looked closer and realized it said “Fecal Occult Blood.” I had to share my emotions with someone so here you go:

Jason saw this and said, “you’re my very own Liz Lemon.” That makes me smile. And he is giving me a pep talk right now for some of the stuff I am raging about. Jason is the best.

It’s sunny and breezy outside, so I am going to attempt to take a walk.

OMG Guess What We Did

Charlie taught me video editing before he left. FIRST TRY! OUR DEBUT! Now you’re really in trouble…

I wanted to add serious music cues, like “I’ll Be There” by The Jackson 5 and of course, “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye” by Boyz II Men. But I couldn’t figure out that part on the first try and Lost is almost on, so you’ll just have to deal.

If he was here one more day, I guarantee we would’ve made a full-length feature.

I miss him already. (He’s still in my lap.)

The Perfect Specimen

This thing doesn’t even look real. It looks like an anime monkey or some kind of doll. I am completely mesmerized…

Did I Say Inspiration Strikes?

More like PUNCHES ME IN THE FACE:

That is Mort’s twin brother. I’ve met him at Grace Basement shows and was aware that he was cool, but my god. I don’t know why this exists or why it is so mesmerizing, but dude, it just does it for me.

I’m feeling weirdly optimistic about taking care of my parents this week, which is probably because I got my weekly high five from Charlie.

If you’re not on Facebook, then you probably don’t know that Charlie and I are TEAM ADORBS and Charlie is CAPTAIN ADORBS. I can seriously high five him for hours.

Also: I had the most brilliant idea that I’ve ever had yesterday so you will probably hear about that soon. Life is nuts right now. Lovin’ every minute of it!