Precious Cargo

So last night I couldn’t sleep at all. My insomnia has been back for a long time, but I had been drinking last night, so I couldn’t rock the Nyquil like I usually do.

Side note – never watch Grosse Point Blank right after a break up. It’s almost as bad as When Harry Met Sally.

So instead of sleeping, I wandered around my room. My room is kind of like Pee Wee’s Playhouse… just toys and stuff everywhere. And I decided it’s a bit too sentimental.

I got a giant trash can and started throwing things away… presents from exes, souvenirs, high school junk, etc. Things that used to mean the world to me, things that represent great times in my life. Things I can never go back to… so who gives a shit? It felt really good. I even threw away a few of my journals. I don’t need them anymore.

The other day, when we were helping my Grandma move (she’s shacking up with her new man), my mom asked her if she was going to take all her pictures, like the ones of her 2 dead husbands. She shook her head no, and matter-of-factly said, “It’s a different life. You’ll understand someday.” That blew my mind… and made me a little less afraid of growing old.

One journal, however, just seemed too sacred to throw away, although I don’t want it around anymore, because I would just be too tempted to read it, which would make me sad. I get sad just looking at it. So I mailed it off to an old friend and told that person to keep it for a while.

I suppose that’s what you’d call “letting go”. I’m not very good at that. But I’m getting there. It’s hard to let go of something that makes you so happy.

Today I’m going out with Jen to buy a suit, so that I can pretend to be professional. Hahaha. This should be interesting. And it will be good to get off my ass… broken hearts tend to be a little paralyzing.

The other night we went out with Kev and saw James’ band, Poncho Vega. They were hilarious. James had a keytar… which is the greatest instrument in the world, in my opinion. And the lead singer had an amazing voice. And the bartender looked like Ryan from The O.C. I miss you, O.C.!!!

I love Jen and Kevin.

Hospitals, Mullets and Babies, Oh My

“And then just as suddenly I wish that I was a long, long way away from here, lying still with someone, in a warm bed, falling asleep.”

– David Nicholls, A Question of Attraction

So I was at the hospital today, from six in the morning to right about now. *yawn*

I’ve pretty much grown up in hospitals, so they don’t really freak me out as much as other people. They can be quite fun, especially if you’re there for EIGHT F&$%ING HOURS and you’re completely slap happy from zero sleep the night before.

Some highlights of the day: Cute boy who let me “drive” his wheelchair, a sing-along in the smoker’s coral, cable TV (!), A Question of Attraction (great book), the first 50 pages of The Princess Bride, an awesomely hardcore temper tantrum from some kid in the waiting room, and the most beautiful, fantastic mullet I have ever seen in my entire life. Seriously, the thing came down to the guy’s waist, and I suppose he had bleached his hair and let it grow, but for a while I thought he had frosted tips. The idea of a guy with a giant mullet getting highlights made me laugh for a while.

I really want to have kids when I’m young. Not now, for pete’s sake, but while I’m young all the same. It’s not so much for me, but for those kids, whoever they are. I mean, all parents get old, and it’s inevitable that you’ll have to start taking care of them, but you really shouldn’t have to be in that position when you haven’t quite figured out how to take care of yourself yet.

It’s just something I thought about a lot today. There is absolutely no clock ticking at the moment.

I guess I should end this on a cool note – I just found out that the City Museum is opening an aquarium, and they’re going to have a slide that GOES THROUGH THE SHARK TANK. That is AWESOME. I hope mullet guy is there.

Tetris and Beasties

Liz – I broke my record today: 577,269. I am the Tetris Master. Just accept it.

Bought the new Beastie Boys album yesterday. It’s pretty good. It makes me miss high school… the Beastie Boys were the soundtrack for a lot of good times. Listening to the Beasties reminds me of kicking Liz’s ass in Tetris. Yeah, I said it!

Man, thesises (thesi?) suck.

So, I officially have 5-1/2 weeks to finish my thesis, and what do I decide to do?  Start a blog.  This is weird.  I feel a little self absorbed, and slightly dirty, but whatever.  I’m newly single, so my own personal journal is a bit depressing right now.  This is a lot more colorful, at least.

So here’s some of the things i should be doing right now:

working on my portfolio, writing my thesis, researching the thesis, running three miles, sitting outside cuz it’s sunny, cleaning my room, attempting to fix my TV, writing bad goth poetry about my broken heart, attempting to “Go get laid, like, now.  Right now.” like my friend Pammy suggested last night, and… I suppose that’s it.

Do people even read this stuff?  Will they?  Blogs, Friendster, and the such and such aren’t exactly popular around here.  Hell, the trucker hat trend just arrived.  Unfortunately.  Thanks, Real World.<

So… yeah.  I don’t know what else to say right now. I should tell you all about why the ex sucks, but I’ll save that for another day… I’m sure you’ve all read too many entries about that, anyway.