Next Time, My Smile Will Be Decaffinated

It’s like 7 am, and I’ve already decided that I’m going to be late for work and also I will not be in class tonight. Usually I would agree with you that that is really lazy, however, I only slept three hours last night. And three is not the magic number, three is a headache and a muscle ache and all kinds of other owwies.

It’s my fault this time, though, and to be honest it’s almost worth it.

You know those moments in life where you are so happy and everything seems so perfect, and for once, the stars have aligned in your favor and the sun is permanently shining and you almost cry because you had forgotten that life could be that good? Well, that’s how I felt last night. And I didn’t go to bed until about four in the morning, even though I was tired. I think I just wanted to feel that way forever, and I was afraid that if I went to bed, that feeling would go away. And it kind of has, unfortunately. Hopefully it’ll come back after my coffee kicks in.

And now I get to write a paper. Bitchin. *yawn*

Strange Things Are Afoot At The Circle K

First of all, this morning I watched Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure in its excellent entirety as I got ready for work. That means it’s a good day. San Dimas High School Football rules!

Okay, so is this why you never hear about grownups keeping diaries or journals? Life is kind of monotonous and lame when you’re working six days a week. I’m sure you guys are dying to hear all about how somebody ganked some of my cheese out of the company refrigerator, or that the lady in the cubicle next door won’t stop coughing, or that somebody secretly farted in Dan’s office this morning and he wouldn’t go in there for like an hour cuz it reeked so bad. Fascinating stuff, I assure you. However, I will be on Show Me St. Louis on Thursday with people from my other job, so that should be fun.

I’m still sleeping like four hours a night. Hell, if P Diddy can do it, so can I.

My brother and sister-in-law are still here. It’s actually kind of fun. We went to the zoo yesterday and it was awesome. But here’s something that really, really pisses me off: my sister-in-law has a medical condition that can’t be diagnosed or fixed. At all. You’d think that with all of the advances in science and technology, they could at least pinpoint the problem after, oh, seven fucking years of tests. I mean, I know they’re not brain surgeons or anything, but – oh wait, they ARE brain surgeons. That’s right, every single year, the top neurologists and brain surgeons in the world gather for a conference, and at every single one, they discuss my sister-in-law. And they’re clueless. Note to brain surgeons: you have officially been replaced by rocket scientists as the Smartest People Alive. You know what second place is? Number Two. You know what Number Two is? Poop. I will say this about my sister-in-law, though: she is the best at everything she does – school, work, and baffling the medical community. It’s not like she’s dying, so this isn’t some horrible entry, it’s just me ranting, so don’t worry. But maybe they’ll name it after her, whatever IT is.

Um… so on a lighter note, apparently I AM right about everything… at least according to Ex Boyfriend. Supposedly, he wants to move here to be with me because he can’t, like, live without me or whatever. J Note to boys: girls are always, always right about everything. Unless they are brain surgeons.

WYLD STALLYNS!!! Excellent!! *air guitar*

Eye of the Tiger

So last weekend, a bunch of us went down to The Hill to watch boxing. We’ve been watching boxing on Big Teevee for a while now, so I was psyched to see it up close and personal. And we were seriously close… like 5 feet from the ring. And? It was awesome. When we first got there, I saw a super cute boy sitting on the curb. I decided that he would be my secret crush for the night, then I went and got my $2 PBR (insert gagging noises here) and went to go watch the match. It was either PBR or Blue Moon, and in case you didn’t know this, Blue Moon tastes like rubber bands (Ra, I’m talking to you).

At first, boxing was weird. Two 14-year-olds were fighting, and Jen, Niki, and I almost cried. Our maternal instincts were going into overdrive watching these little tiny boys getting pummeled. Then some tiny tiny kid in front of us started screaming “UppaCUTS! UppaCUTS!” and this kid was like, 5, and then it was just funny. About five or six matches went down after that, and by this time, we’d been adopted by the guy sitting next to us, SuperDrunk, as his new best friends.

And then DING DING DING – who shows up in the red corner? My new secret boyfriend, that’s who! He looked a little scared. But he also looked adorable, especially compared to the guy in the blue corner who had shiny pink shorts and braids like that guy in Korn. I made the mistake of telling SuperDrunk that I thought the guy in the red corner was cute. He started yelling “You could be his Adrienne!!” Hee! And his name? His boxing name? His boxing name is “The Fist”. Wow. Also: wow. Ron wanted me to yell out “I love The Fist!”, but we all decided that was a bad idea. So SuperDrunk did it for me. Thanks, SuperDrunk.

The Fist actually won. And yes, I would totally be his Adrienne any day.

Um… after that, two chicks fought, and damn, that was scary. Girls don’t mess around when it comes to boxing. Have you guys ever seen Layla Ali? The last girl she fought practically started crying and they had to throw in the towel. Haha. The belt that the girls were fighting over had fringe and a giant grenade in the middle. Awesome. And the girl who won was named Chanel. Also awesome.

Finally, it was time for the Hoosierweight title fight… and appropriately named since the trainer in the blue corner had a total Joe Dirt mullet – spiky AND stringy. Nice. The boxer was from Eureka and he had an American flag on his helmet… so SuperDrunk’s girlfriend, SuperTrashed, decided to yell “USA!” over and over. “USA” quickly turned into “Six Flaaaaaags!” since Six Flags is in Eureka. Then it turned into “Screeeamin Eeeeeeeagle!” which was hilarious. Jen and I tried to think of other Six Flags rides that we could yell out, and when Jen yelled “The Log Fluuuume!” I almost cried I was laughing so hard.

So yeah… boxing was totally worth it. And to The Fist, wherever you are: I love you.

To The Chalk Bandit

Last night, someone wrote “I love you” with chalk on my back porch. They also drew me a smiley face with pigtails, surrounded by lots of other smiley faces. I was up til 2 so who ever did it was a master of the chalk sneak attack. I wonder if that person went to Webster, where we all honed our chalking skills for a while.

Whoever you are, I love you too!

And I really wish I could jump into that chalk drawing, a la Mary Poppins.

Other Stuff: I’m going to see Pee Wee’s Big Adventure tonight, if anyone’s interested.

John Black from Days Of Our Lives is officially my Friendster friend.

AND… Il Duce just told me that he wants to fly me to the Bahamas. Or if I have no patience, Michigan. Either way, he needs to come to St Louis ASAP. Sometimes boys can be okay, I guess. 🙂 I’m still waiting for one with a 12 month lease. And apparently, chalk.