Monthly Archives: November 2004


With any relationship, even a friendship, there comes a point where someone suddenly goes from being just another face to the most important person in your life. It’s really kind of amazing how that person all of a sudden goes from being in black and white into technicolor in one magical sweep, Ted Turner style. Suddenly they’re a part of you, and you want to share everything with them, and – especially where love is concerned – they become absolutely perfect. Everything they do is amazing, and even their faults have a certain charm.

Consequently, there’s also the moment where they’re knocked off of their pedestal. It could be a huge fight that ends the whole relationship, or it could just be a simple, ridiculous thing like a fart that makes you realize that they’re not perfect at all. It’s kind of like that moment that you realize that Santa isn’t real or that your parents, doctors, and firemen are really just people and they’re just as fucked up as you.

It’s weird when you’re in love with someone and that shift happens. I’m at that point now. He’s not perfect. He has faults. I thought he’d never hurt me and he did, repeatedly. I still love him more than anything. But it’s not the perfect feeling that it was before. It’s not like I can’t live without him, because I learned that I can.

I’m really looking forward to him moving here because it really will be a completely new relationship. We’ve always had a kind of urgency when we were together, because there’s always been a day where we have to say goodbye looming in the future. Now we get to have the boring, monotonous relationship that everyone else has. Oddly enough, I’m excited about it.

His visit was awesome. I was afraid about how it would be, considering I had “moved on” and then he just appeared out of nowhere (Hey, who knew my life would mirror The OC ?). But last week was, for lack of a better word, perfect.

If there are any typos today, it’s because I jammed my finger, thanks to Lucy (aka Lucifer) the dog. Also, I have been taking cold showers for the past three days, or mixing water in the bathtub like freaking Little House on the Prairie. Life can be ridiculous sometimes.

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I Voted Yesterday

Too bad it was a bunch of HORSESHIT.

Maybe if Puff Daddy and Gideon Yago and all those assholes had paid more attention to the 20 million young people in the midwest where it actually mattered, it would have been a little different.

I mean, shit. Sorry I don’t live in Jersey and I can’t be in the background of TRL or a contestant on Room Raiders. You still could have driven the Choose or Lose bus more than 5 fucking miles. Or Puffy could have run here. Whatev. The veejays obviously looked pissed and I thought it was hilarious. Yeah, that big blob in between New York and L.A.? It’s called America. People actually live there and they actually get to vote, too. Douchebags.

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