Diphenhydramine

I’m starting to feel like myself again.

Apparently Ambien is not good for me. I kept taking it in the hopes that I would just adjust and I’d be able to sleep like a semi-normal human being.

Instead, it makes me depressed and unmotivated. It gives me headaches. It gives me nightmares. It makes me blackout. I’ll wake up the next morning and realize that I had hour-long phone conversations and arguments that I don’t remember, that I ordered Pilates tapes or some other random nonsense off the TV, or that I wrote several pages of incoherent rambling in my journal.

Life was better when I didn’t sleep. I mean, damn.

I’m working on some professional projects for the Foundation (I just realized I have no idea how to spell professional. Oh, the irony). This means I will get experience and also a *contract*! How cool is that? I’ve been getting paid so little for so long that I didn’t even care how much they’re going to pay me.

I’ve found some cool jobs online, I just haven’t had time to properly apply.

I took diphenhydramine last night in order to sleep, which is what I’ve done for pretty much the past 10 years. I found sleeping pills that are pure diphenhydramine as opposed to Benadryl or Nyquil, which have other things I don’t need. I’m kind of aching, but overall I feel much better. I didn’t have any “Theresa-falls-up-the-stairs-Theresa-falls-down-the-stairs-dude-where’s-my-kidney” nightmares (To Jen, Ron, and Nick: holy shit). And I can remember everything I did from 7-10 pm, which is a nice change of pace.

I still love Veronica Mars and Lost. The writing is making me sick. It’s that sweet.

I haven’t smoked in 3 weeks!!! EEEEEEE!!! Life is a lot less fun, but at least I smell good.

Ra and I saw Master Shake from Aquateen at the Webbies. He was hilarious.

I guess that’s it. But to everyone who’s seen/talked to me in the past 2 weeks: sorry if I was crazy or a little shitty. Now I’m back to just being adorably annoying. Whew!

Why I Love Working With Old Ladies

Yesterday, I was working on the computer. My buddy Sandy, who’s somewhere in her 80’s, was tagging clothes. I was sitting in between Sandy and the trash can. At one point, Sandy gets up with a little box full of trash, walks behind me, and says:

“Watch out, Steph, I’m right behind you… I have to dump.”

I looked over at my friend Kim and she looked at me and we laughed without noise so hard that I think I hurt myself.

Last week, Sandy was telling her friend Jane about her aunt who had recently passed away. Apparently, the aunt passed away in her home, and Sandy was in charge of paying for the burial. However, all the rest of us heard during a lull in our conversations was:

“And you can’t just leave a body layin’ on the floor, for Christsakes…”

These are the conversations that I walk into when I’m not paying attention. “You can’t just leave a body layin’ on the floor”. I mean, it’s true, I suppose. But wow.

The hiring board at the ad agency is reviewing my portfolio, so we’ll see if I get an interview. I really, really want this job. But man, I am really going to miss the Silver Foxy Ladies I work with right now.