Monthly Archives: May 2005

Gonna Dress You Up In My Love

Happy Memorial Day! I’m supposed to go to some barbecue DOWN BY THE RIVER today, but I’m supposed to go there with a boy and it seems like such a girlfriendy thing to do and I’m really trying to avoid acting girlfriendy with anybody right now.

Speaking of which, Girlfriend, you have got to check out my closet. I attempted to organize it yesterday and it’s frighting. I’ve worked at a non-profit thrift store for the last five years. I’d say I bought at least one item of clothing there a week, on average. 52 x 5 = Oh My God.

I went to the mall and REALLY shopped yesterday for the first time in years. After working at the thriftstore for so long, I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman… at The Limited, they offered to start a dressing room just for me and I was all, “Are you f$&*ing kidding me?”

So… I shopped my ass off, came home, and started putting everything away. The majority of my clothes have been piled up on a couch in the big room for the past few months, and I decided it would be a good idea to organize everything.

Now the big room in my basement looks like Mariah Carey’s closet on Cribs. It’s sick.

Later on, some friends were coming over, and I swear to god, the first thing I said was “I don’t have anything to wear”.

You know that Harry Chapin song “Cat’s in the Cradle”? I had a moment like that, like “Oh. My. God. I’ve become what I hate the most.”

This weekend has been all about excess. Too many clothes and boys and books and beers and too much smoking and too much money and too much stuff. I started to think about moving and the actual logistics about where everything should go and I almost strangled myself with my cutesuperpretty new striped blouse from the mall. Ugh.

So… to barbecue or to not barbecue… that is the question… I have no idea yet. We’ll see.

Maybe I’ll go take a picture of my closet. Heh.

And yes, Jen, the title is a shout-out to Mike and The Greatest Cranium Clue Ever.

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Riding In Cars With Boys

Being in a relationship is like riding in car with somebody.

I was riding around with Kevin the other day, and someone cut us off or something. He started yelling at the other car, and then he told me, “Did you even notice you never yell at other cars unless someone’s in the car with you?” And I thought about it and it’s really true.

When I’m driving and someone cuts me off or they’re driving too slow in front of me or tailgating me, I don’t really bitch about it unless some else is there. If I’m by myself, I just kind of suck it up and turn up the music and move on.

Being in a relationship is kind of like that. When I was scared or upset or nervous, or if life basically cut me off, I used to always vocalize it because he was there to listen and to tell me everything would be okay. But lately, he hasn’t been there. I’ve just been taking deep breaths, turning up the music, and moving on.

I feel bad that I had to put him through that. I wish he was around to see how I deal with things now. And even through I’m in a few “mini-relationships” right now, I plan on keeping most of those fears to myself.

It sucks that I have to pretend I’m alone, even when I’m not. It’s sad that I have to pretend no one’s there for me. But I learned my lesson the last time around, and I really think that’s why he’s not here. People shouldn’t have to listen to me yell at the other cars.

Other stuff:
I start my new job on Tuesday.
I get to hang out with Tony tonight.
I get to hang out with cute boy after that.
I’ll figure out how to get the Ziggy pictures up real soon.

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You Mean Like The Lame Ass Cartoon?

So, it’s official. I have a new boyfriend.

His name is Ziggy and I am Crazy in Love. I would have named him Booger, but that’s just me. And normally I object to little dogs in people clothes, but a pug in a life jacket is just precious. Hee!

This weekend was again full of awesome parties. I’m falling more and more in love with my friends every day. And I might get to live with Niki, which would be super fun. I’m still debating moving into Winifred, though.

Speaking of Winifred, I knew that Katie was an amazing artist, but I hadn’t seen a lot of her work until the sale on Friday, and all I have to say is Wow. I bought a Pink Puppy painting and some clay cherries and I love them very much.

I’m going to buy a new journal today. The last 3 journals have a lot of stuff about Ex in them, so I hate them. They’re kind of like books I had to read in college that I can’t sell back. I’ve been trying to avoid getting a new journal until I’m done being sad. And I think I actually am!! I saw Ra last night for the first time in forever, and she was like, “Wow, you’re actually smiling and laughing and not crying. Way to go.” And then Ziggy started snoring and we laughed and laughed.

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Is This Thing On?

For a Friday the 13th, today sure has been a lucky day.

Or at least, that’s what he said. HAHAHA… just kidding. Except not really. No, I’m joking.

I have a job interview on Monday!!! I had a fantastic phone interview today. She actually called my cover letter “beautiful”. Whoa.

I got about a billion things done today that I’ve been meaning to do for months. Sucks that I have to wake up at 6am tomorrow for graduation, but at least this way, I won’t be getting into Drunk Trouble.

Last night after I modeled at a Foundation event, I was walking through downtown Clayton – the most adorable place in the world – on my way to go visit my friend at his work. I was wearing a skirt, which happens about once a year. As I was waiting to cross the street, one of my best friends called, and we updated each other on our current Single Drama.

“You can do whatever you want. Just don’t start whoring it up on the corner,” he joked.

Right as he said that, a car drove by me, and we heard honking and some guy yelling “Whoooo!”

“Oh. My. God.” he gasped, “Are you really on a corner? ARE you?!”

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Turn Around and Make Up

So last night, after some excellent toad hunting with Nick and Jen, I met up with Tony and Ty at a martini bar.

It was one of those nights where you realize that everything is changing. Lots of friends of mine are getting married, having kids, or moving. It was the kind of night where everyone just wants to kick back with their drinks and the friends they’ve known for a decade and just kind of marvel about it all…

…and eventually just repeat “God, we are OLD” like 800 times because we are DRUNK.

Even though I am a sentimental nerd, I really kind of hate nights like that. It’s just really heavy and a tidal wave of memories and nostalgia and emotions, and I did what I always do in situations like this… just run home and hide under the covers. New Boys called wanting me to drink with them, and I told them I was Emotionally Spent.

4 months ago I thought I was about to have the great job and cute apartment and cool roommate and he was going to move here and everything would be amazing. Instead, I’m just here in the basement, kind of going backwards.

At least I have Tony and Ty on my videophone singing Al Green. God, I love those boys.

Happy Mother’s Day to all my pregnant girlies!!!!

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Something Suddenly Came Up

Two nights ago, I woke up with a charleyhorse so bad, I screamed.

The last time I woke up with a charleyhorse, I woke him up, too. He held me so tight, I thought he was going to break me. By the time I could tell him to let go, the pain was gone.

This time, though, he wasn’t there. My leg still hurts.

The OTHER time I had a charleyhorse, however, Katie gave me a banana for potassium, which I thought was very nice of her.

Friends make things Okay. Being alone makes things hurt more than they should. But he always made my problems disappear with a hug. I miss him.

Last night on Lost, Locke said Boone died because of his charleyhorse. He said this as I was still smarting from mine. This might apply to my situation metaphorically somehow. I’ll try to figure it out tonight. I need something to do now that I’m out of sleeping pills.


This morning, I got ready for work while watching The Brady Bunch. It was the infamous Nose episode. At the end of it, Marcia admits to her friend (who I just realized is named Charlie!!!) that she played a dirty trick on him.

“You’re right,” he says, “That was a dirty trick.”

At which point my friend who was passed out on my couch woke up and asked, “Did somebody just call Marcia Brady a Dirty Trick?”

Today’s going to be a good day.

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I Mean, I’m Not Even Hungover!

So… I am back from my weekend in Michigan, where I spent time with The Secretary General of Cool. It was, to say the least, relaxing. I think we we were both at the perfect time to see an old friend and laugh and smile. I’m glad I could cheer him up, and partying with him cheered me up a lot, too.

Our song is “The Night Chicago Died” by Paper Lace. It’s the craziest track I’ve ever heard in my life.

Ann Arbor is a beautiful, adorable city. I got the grand tour from TSGoC’s Dad, who is probably the most interesting person I’ve ever met. We shopped for records, watched the graduates run around the university, and went to Starbucks and just kind of rapped about life and the world. Actually, to be honest, his whole family is fascinating. Also: they seem to have super-human anti-aging genes. As I write this, his mom is somewhere in the States chilling with Julie Andrews, and his brother is enjoying fame as a reality TV star in Holland. Their lives blow my mind. I hope someday I can have a life that interesting. In the meantime, I will just have to live with the awesome presents TSGoC brought me from Thailand, which include a PICTURE PAINTED BY AN ELEPHANT!!! SO CUTE!!!

So, the Nuge’s next-door neighboor looks exactly like Chuck Norris. Exactly. At one point in the night, TSGoC told me a story about how he set a kitchen on fire and got blown through a second story window. All I could do was stare at Chuck Norris and think about was how that would be a perfect Walker Texas Ranger Lever moment. So fucking funny. Our whole group rolled out to do some country karaoke. And? It was fantastic.

Tradicional is the greatest tequila ever. Ever.

I also learned that Detroit is Hardcore. So are the back woods. I will just say this: you do NOT fuck with people from Michigan. They mean business.

All in all, a great weekend. So great, in fact, that I can’t wait to get back out there someday. And the way the job hunt is going, it may be soon and permanent. I don’t know what’s going to happen. But for once in my life, I don’t really care and I’m smiling anyway.

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