The Rundown

Some highlights from the past week:

1. My mom and I finally saw the Chihuly Exhibit at the Botanical Gardens. I plan on going back every week until it’s over. I’ll post pictures once I get them developed (and when was the last time you heard anyone say that??).

2. My brother is officially home, as opposed to in the middle of the former Soviet Union.

3. Josh and I took in a night of stand-up comedy, Danger League improv, booze and Bosco Sticks. One comedian referred to her vagina as a “people person”. This automatically becomes my new favorite joke, even though mine is better described as “standoffish”.

4. Tony made Billy Squire’s “The Stroke” his Myspace song, so now I have to go to his page at least twice a day.

5. Niki and I cancelled our cable, and consequentially I had no TV for 4 days. I wandered around aimlessly and kept sitting on the couch, the way most people keep looking into their empty fridge when they’re hungry. I’m a former latchkey kid; I need my background noise.

6. My Myspace page received it’s 10,000th hit. Does this make me cool or geeky?

7. I finally finished The Complete Works of Shakespeare. NOTE: I did not reread everything like I originally vowed to do… I finished all of the plays I hadn’t read, and reread all of the sonnets. Then I tried to reread “Coriolanus” and it made me want to kill myself. I decided to reread all of my Vonneguts instead, and I’ve read one already. Plan B wins.

8. I accidentally broke the news about the Crocodile Hunter to my brother and the news about Arthur Lee to TSGoC. I’m just the bluebird of fucking happiness this week, aren’t I?

9. I bought Chuck Klosterman’s new book and I’m enjoying it immensely (pretend I wrote this tomorrow, because I haven’t started it yet. But it looks really good on my nightstand, so I’m not completely lying).

10. Two cute boys came over to fix our Internet connection, and the blocker on the cable “mysteriously” disappeared. I don’t remember flirting with them, but I must have done something right because they just smiled and winked when I asked them about it.

11. Steve and I had the following exchange over the phone as he was standing at Ground Zero on 9/11:

Steve: There are so many people here.

Me: I’ll bet.

Steve: (whispering) There’s a guy standing next to me with a big sign that says “Liar”.

Me: He must have seen “Loose Change”.

Steve: Ha. Probably.

Me: I saw that and it really freaked me out.

Steve: Yeah, it’s weird how quickly things like that can convince you of something.

Me: I wanted to watch a counter-documentary right away, so I wouldn’t turn into one of those conspiracy people.

Steve: Cuz then you’d be THAT guy…

Me: …standing at Ground Zero…

Steve: …with a big sign that says “Liar”.

Me: I felt like a big dirty traitor to the country.

Steve: You are a traitor.

Me: I should just shack up with that guy. We could live in a tree in Canada.

Steve: He’s wearing one of those cool airbrushed t-shirts, like you’d get at the mall.

Me: Hee. Really?

Steve: Yeah. Hold on, I’ll take a picture of him for you.

12. I found a typo in one of the best-selling books of all time, “Helter Skelter”. This makes me feel like a good proofreader.

13. I ran/walked 25 miles. I have lost 5 pounds and gained 2.5 zits. I’m not quite sure what the Zit/Fat Hotness Ratio is yet. If I lose 20 pounds and gain 10 zits, does that make me hotter or uglier?

14. Mike and I gave each other two rainchecks each. That’s four rainchecks in one week. Most people would be insulted, but we’ve decided to go for a world record (much like how many RE:s we can fit into a subject line).

15. I borrowed a lighter from a bartender named Worm.

16. I tried to get Ron to name his Halloween party “Shit Your Pants”.

17. TSGoC told me about an annual party at a gay bar in Chicago called “Swalloween”.

18. I have only eaten sugar twice this week, and both times involved Fun Dip.

19. Pandy tripped and fell on his face, and then he called me from Kansas City to tell me about it as he was still lying on his face. This is why I love Pandy.

20. Mike just took back his raincheck, so I guess we are not breaking a world record. This means I get to PLAY WITH PUPPIES!!! EEEE!!!

21. It is cold outside, so I am wearing a hoodie. Hello hoodies! Oh, how I’ve missed you!