Okay, time for the annual Jersey Boys entry. Not that there’s anything obligatory about it – this is always my favorite entry of the year. Maybe they should visit around Thanksgiving next time so I don’t peak so early. Oh well; it’s so worth it.
I’ve already written a lot about why Steve and Frank (and Ray and Darren) are so awesome, and why I love them so much. It’s right here. At any rate, they came to visit again and it was fantastic.
Ron, whose go-getter attitude never ceases to amaze me, immediately brought out a laptop and a few newspapers to plan the weekend itinerary. He forced us to vote on activities with a “Huzzah!” or an “Eeeehhhh…”. We had a pretty massive list by the time we were done.
One thing we never got to do, which I plan on doing someday before I die, is SHOOTING OFF AN UZI. Did you know it’s actually legal to do this? There was an ad in the Riverfront Times. I think you pay by the hour (plus ammo) and it was expensive so we nixed it. Nevertheless, this is my new dream. The first person to throw me a surprise birthday party at the Uzi Range gets to be my boyfriend. Kaboom.
Since the Uzi was out, we had to settle for SkyZone. The first time I saw an ad for this on TV, I started laughing so hard. I made Ron look it up online, and when he played the SkyZone video for everyone, they screamed and laughed, too. It is a GYM FULL OF TRAMPOLINES! THE ENTIRE FLOOR IS TRAMPOLINES! THE WALLS ARE TRAMPOLINES! It is so awesome!
They give you supportive shoes and you have to sign a release, but it is so worth it. It’s the house I dreamed about when I was in Kindergarten – we were literally bouncing off of the walls. So fantastic!
Check out Steve and Frank attempting (and later executing) the Impossible Mid-Air High Five:
Here is Jen being adorable:
And here’s Joe being awesome!
Katie wins the “Tiger Endurance Award” for jumping (and smiling) for the full hour, while the rest of us needed a break in the first five minutes.
The next night was Frank’s birthday, so we went to the Pink Galleon. Some people give the Pink Galleon shit, but I believe that any place with a pirate theme AND pink pool tables is a winner. Afterwards we went to Graham’s Grill for a Cajun dinner, and we stumbled across Steve Ewing from The Urge putting on a random solo performance.
New Years was pretty cool. Nick’s girlfriend had a party. I think the highlight of the party was when Frank taught us how to break out the bottom of a beer bottle just by slapping the top of it:
Plus: Super loud midnight celebrations!
Dangerously delicious drinks!
AND true love!
Later on some of us stopped by Warren’s, where a party was already in full swing. Steve and Frank got to experience Tony at his drunkest, and I got to party with Ty, Sara, Oldham, and a bunch of other friends I haven’t seen in a while. Steve and Frank also got to cross another goal off of their list – “Start a fake band”.
We were up til about 6 in the morning, so I consider New Year’s a success. It also marks the second time in a week that I had to walk to Jen and Ron’s house to get my car. While I was gone, Frank and Steve filled up the apartment with farts, just to see if I would notice the smell when I got back. They underestimated my current living situation, as I was unfazed. However, I’m shocked that my Chia pet is still alive.
The day before they left, we went to IHOP (where Ron made our waitress cry). I always forget about the awesomeness of IHOP until I hang out with Jen. She is so right on. We ate more than anyone should ever eat ever, so then we went to Laumeier Sculpture Park to walk it off.
Needless to say, it took about 30 seconds for someone to bend over in front of this one and made the obligatory “World’s Largest Anal Beads” joke.
Here is where I used to do my homework every week!
The sun was setting when we got there, so by the time we made it through the woods it was dark as hell. It was creepy in a fun way, like when you’re playing Ghost in the Graveyard or something.
Other events of the weekend:
- Frank calls Stephie from the airport to say that he’s lost, and they are in front of a Lee’s Fried Chicken.
- Frank and Steve attend a New Year’s Eve “Practice Party”, which includes a fake midnight toast and everything.
- Frank and Steve do a bunch of other cool things that Stephie missed because she was at home sleeping off the flu, DAN.
- Frank discovers the ultimate St. Louis party staple, Schnucks Seven-Layer Dip.
- Stephie and Jen venture out into the cold for firewood. Steve and Frank offer to make hot cocoa and muffins.
- Frank correctly uses the term “hoosier” when Stephie places a working TV on top of a broken one.
- Tony moons us. More than once.
- We eat at “Mexican Restaurant”.
- Frank immediately recognizes “Too Legit: The MC Hammer Story”, even though it was on for 2 seconds and it was during a childhood flashback scene.
- Tony takes a dump so hardcore that it wakes up Steve and Frank.
- We watch Seasons 1 AND 2 of The Office. We quote it every ten seconds. It never stops being funny.
- Frank and Stephie philosophize about love under the watchful eye of pirate mannequins.
- Tony almost runs over Ty; murders shrubbery in front yard.
- Jen’s little brother tries to make out with a girl in her bathroom, and actually puts a towel on the door handle.
- Jen nicknames her brother “Awesome Choices McGee”. Frank and Steve have never been prouder of anyone in their entire lives.
- Steve fills every single moment of silence by singing “Dick in a Box”.
- Within 30 minutes, both Ty and Tony intentionally pull Stephie into a fart cloud.
- We name Jen’s pet cow “Pancakes”.
- Steve blows up a queen-sized air mattress. At 3 in the morning. Drunk. Inside of my car:
6 responses to “And That’s The Way We Do It (It’s The Lou in a Box)!”
Look at Steve! That’s effing highlarryus!
We did good this year…real good.
I just read this again and laughed so f’ing hard. 7 months later and that was still one of the funnest times of the year for me. You forgot “Stephie hits on Steve; Steve retreats to bathroom to poop.”
I’d like to think you were shit-your-pants pumped about it.
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