There are two geese that have been hanging out next to my office. Several flocks have flown by recently, but for some reason these two geese have decided to stay.
I’ve really grown to love them. I named them Thaddeus and Marmalade.
Today I ordered in some lunch, and I didn’t want my french fries. I gave away about half of them, and then I thought that Thaddeus and Marmalade might like something besides grass for a change.
They responded quite well to my offering… they ate every bite, tapped the glass outside my office, gave a honk of approval and settled down for a nap. I believe one of them winked at me.
I took so much pleasure out of this that I considered giving them part of my sandwich, too.
I was about halfway to the window when I realized I was eating a chicken sandwich.
I almost fed grilled chicken to birds. “Chicken Mexicali” to be exact. That’s horrifying.
It’s a perfect parable that I should pay more attention to, really.
The Lesson: Don’t try to fix things and don’t try to please people. You will just fuck it up somehow.
Here’s a random question – and this doesn’t apply at all to the landlord who won’t call me back, or the receptionist who schedules me for the wrong day every week, or the boss who leaves me out of meetings, or someone I won’t name who never puts away the dishes:
What is it about me that’s so easy to forget? Is it my voice? My face? Am I too nice, or am I one of those people you just want to fuck with for no reason?
I’ve tried toughening up, but if my voice goes one octave higher then I “have an attitude”. If I point out a mistake, I’m “ungrateful”. If I leave a note, I’m “on my period”. Basically, the only thing that works is fake crying.
I bet if I fed them all Fried Baby, people would fucking listen to me.