Be A Pattie, Not A Patricia

“Somewhere in the sky, Earnest Hemingway is piecing his face back together so he can blow it off again.”

– Rob Sheffield

I feel like writing, but I still have not developed those pictures. Who knows? Maybe I will just write about the trip without any pics. I haven’t decided. Jersey blogs take a long time to write, and like any other project, I tend to procrastinate a lot. This makes me dive into books, music and other stuff with undivided attention.

One thing I’ve been wrapped up in is the book I bought at the airport, Wonderful Tonight by Pattie Boyd and Penny Junor. Unlike most autobiographies, this is one that people have been looking forward to for a long time. If you don’t know, Pattie Boyd is the ex-wife of both George Harrison (who wrote “Something” about her) and Eric Clapton (who wrote “Layla” to steal her from George).

I’m about halfway through and this book is pretty great – it gives you a glimpse into their lives without being trashy or invasive. When I dated Timmy the hippy, he had the greatest book collection about the Beatles and I loved reading all the stories behind their songs. This is another great one.

I don’t know if I’ve ever discussed my LEAST favorite book with you guys – that would be Strange Days: My Life With And Without Jim Morrison by Patricia Keneally. She was that reporter who hooked up with Jim Morrison and I could not believe how much her writing grossed me out.

Basically, she spent the who book trying to convince the reader that she was cool. She spent half of the book namedropping, describing her outfits or dissing basically everyone Jim knew, which is how you know they all thought she sucked. And ugh, does she ever. I didn’t believe any of her lame stories or care about her and Jim at all. I spent the whole book whispering, “Jesus, get over yourself.”

I just looked up the Amazon reader reviews for this book, and they are beyond hysterical:

“If Morrison spent even half the time with her that she alleges, he must have been a very patient and tolerant individual. Or comatosed on booze.”

“Never has so much been written over so little.”

“Patricia’s book is entertaining but it is mostly fiction. In my opinion, the author really needs some psychological help.”

“This book is a wonderful study in narcissism. I found myself skimming portions of the books as I’m not into sword and sorcery fantasy.”

“Kennealy-Morrison has a curiously self-centered view of the world.”

“Maybe a teen or an early 20’s would find arguing, slapping, fighting, crying, encounters with other women, then having marathon love-making sprinkled with words of undying devotion exciting and passionate, but not a mature adult.”

“If this book is anything to go by, her intellect is stagnant and unsophisticated, and her personality is childish.”

“Patricia Kennealy, though she is a great writer, comes across in this biography and autobiography as a selfish, self-centered, hateful, catty and petty, over-critical, unforgiving, jealous, delusional and obesessive, essentially sad and lonely woman.”

“Strange Days: My Life With And Without Jim Morrison is a weird read.”

“We are treated to a running list of what Patricia wore at any certain event and, what drugs were consumed.”

“The title should have been My Ten Days With Jim Morrison and the Rest Of My Life Obsessing Over Him!!!”

“This woman is obviously not the person whom she is trying to convince the world that she is…. She’s more like a nightmare run amok.”

“Wow. Patricia Kennelly/Kennealy/Morrison(!) is kind of pathetic and insane.”

“I believe this book is written in a fantasy that she believed in.
Her crazy fantasy.”

Wonderful Tonight is pretty much the opposite of Strange Days. Pattie Boyd is unbelievably relatable and so modest and straightforward about her life – it’s a fascinating story and a pleasure to read.

And in case you’re wondering, Eugene Hutz has not had any groupies write a book about him, though one chick did make a movie about how hot and awesome he is.

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So I have heard through the digital grapevine that Theresa is writing about me again. This is a girl I have never met who had a blog that was basically a demented rant about whatever I chose to write about on a given day. For example, that entry I wrote about being in love in the fall? She wrote about the same topic a few days later, dissing my observations and then later, dissing me while distorting the facts. Again, I have never met this girl.

I have no desire to have another “blog war” – I am not bored or angry or pathetic enough for that. I do have trouble letting other people have the last word when I’m sure I’m right – I had this problem with a friend of hers, which I think is what set her off again.

But I have virtually no patience for this nonsense, especially with someone I HAVE NEVER MET, so I felt it needed to be called out. Let’s be ladies, Theresa, and real writers for once. Come on now.