Is My Touché On Straight?

I like how I wrote about negative people and how awful they are, and then two days later I wake up in the assiest of assy moods.

Have you ever had one of those days (and I promise I don’t mean this in a schizophrenic way) where you feel like everyone is out to get you? And everyone else is just plain dumb and annoying? And the whole world is conspiring against you to make your day as irritating and uncomfortable as possible? Yeah, I’m riding one of those.

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I thought I slept well. Nothing bad is going on. I haven’t fought with anyone and I don’t feel fat today. Hell, I can’t even blame this mood on what I usually blame it on.

To be fair, that last entry wasn’t about anything recent. I actually had a dream about something completely unrelated, but in the dream I was living in an older situation, one with a lot of negativity. I woke up with a weird form of post-traumatic stress and I couldn’t shake that anger, no matter how far I ran. At least I got six miles and a bitchy blog entry out if it. I wonder what this will get me.*


I’ll try to kill my cranky mood by telling you a horrifically embarrassing story. Are you ready?

The fact that a dream ruined my whole day reminds me of one I had a few years ago. I dreamt that I was at the doctor, and he was prescribing me medicine for something. (No, I don’t remember what; that’s not the embarrassing part.)

By the time he started listing the side effects of this medicine, I was half awake. But I kept listening. And he told me that I was going to get headaches, dry mouth and blurred vision from these pills. He said the side effects would kick in at some random moment during the day.

Also? I was supposed to get diarrhea. “Roaring diarrhea” was the exact medical term, I believe.

Somehow (probably because I was sort of awake), my brain processed this dream as an actual memory.

So I spent an entire day believing that I would get diarrhea AT ANY MOMENT.

Every time I got in the car. Every time my stomach growled. Every time I wandered far away from the bathroom. “Oh my god. This is it. It’s the diarrhea.” I actually canceled plans because of this.

Finally at some point in the evening, I got curious about when the pills would kick in, so I went looking for the bottle to investigate. That’s when I realized there were no pills and I was not sick, and most importantly I would not develop blurred vision. I have never been so stupidly relieved.

I feel a little better, but not much. I feel like these guys:

*Food of the month: Egg in a Basket. I’ve had 1-3 of these daily for the past two weeks. I can’t stop. SO DELICIOUS and fun to make. It’s healthier than my Magic Market gyro addiction, but if I get anything today it will be raging salmonella, is my point.


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5 responses to “Is My Touché On Straight?

  1. Charles

    Yup, they’re good, but I always knew it as “Toad in the Hole” and my friend Nate called it a “Camel’s Eye”.

    I usually sprinkle white pepper and sweet paprika in them to add some flavor, or just some Lowery’s. I sometimes make doubledecker ones with two slices of bread and two eggs. I use butter to seal the edges to prevent the eggs from ooking out.

  2. Yeah, I didn’t even know what they were called until I sat down to write this. Pat said they called them something different in Boy Scouts, and I think they call it a “Nest Egg” – a way cuter name but I didn’t feel like editing this entry. Again.

    I have been buying cage-free brown eggs and they taste so much better than grocery eggs. They are harder to crack and the whites are thicker so they are more challenging to cook with, but the results are yummy.

  3. Emily

    Number Five Alive!!!!!!!

  4. RØB

    Janet and I had to look it up, not knowing what “Egg In A Basket” was–I always knew it as “Egg In The Hole,” which is what the official WikiPedia entry is called, for what that’s worth. Also, I learned about them in 9th grade Home Economics (actually I think the class was called “Basic Foods”), where we learned them to be called “Egg In The Hole” as well. I’d never known them before that, but I had one as recently as a week or two ago. They are awesome opossum!

    That’s weird that you went all day thinking a dream was absolutely real. I have felt extreme sadness for the better part of the day because of a sad dream, but I don’t think I ever actually thought that whatever sad thing happened in the dream really happened; the dream just chanced to set an emotional precedent for the remainder of the day. I don’t remember anything specific but I know this has happened a few times. I think maybe one time I dreamed that my current roommate (who at the time was not my roommate) had died? That had to be a few years ago. I was so sad, I could hardly believe it, cuz I knew full well it wasn’t real. STRANGE, WHAT DREAMS CAN DO TO YOU!

  5. Hmm… I couldn’t find one for Egg in a Hole:

    I make them a bit differently – I cut the hole about as large as the yolk and I pour some egg whites in first to soak up. It’s like French toast. And no butter, anywhere. I sprinkle cheese when I’m feeliing crazy.

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