France! Too Much Booty In The Pants!

All those Bs from The Hills running around Paris made me nostalgic, and I’ve been babysitting a scanner so I had some time to digitize all these pictures.

(And by “some time” I mean a lot. Scanning is exhausting and feels so much more ancient than it should. So I will spare you my usual long-winded yackity yack.)

I went to Paris with these three dudes in 2001:

I roomed with Crystal, who sat next to me on that first flight to London, and some other girl. Lauren? She looks like a Lauren. We’ll call her Lauren.

This is probably my favorite picture ever:

NSFW OMG!

The biggest surprise about the Mona Lisa is that it’s tiny. Actual size, below:

Okay, I lied. THIS is my favorite picture ever. Poor Lauren:

“Are you looking for Jeeem?”

If you’ve ever seen National Lampoon’s European Vacation, then you know the Arc de Triomphe is surrounded by a circular road with no crosswalks. The Jersey boys straight up threw me into oncoming traffic to get to the other side. It was like Frogger – oop, is that racist? I’m French, I can say it. I have to tell you, for all those rumors about French people having an attitude, we didn’t get honked at once. Everyone just stopped for us politely. On the way home, we realized there were underground tunnels.

I loved these stairs:

This is the night Nosferatu showed me his fish skeleton:

The front of the Eiffel tower is a fun place to hang. And I lied again; every picture with Frank is my favorite picture.

The last morning we were totally over Paris and wanted to go home, but they wouldn’t let us switch our tickets. We debated just sitting at the station and napping, but then I got all mom on them and forced them to go to church.

And see Ray? Wasn’t it worth it just to meet a new friend? Do you and that pigeon still keep in touch?

Later this week I will try to do Italy. Not the Lindsey Lohan way. Just picture-wise. Oh, someone in the room just suggested I do the Amsterdam pics tomorrow since, you know, and I just dislocated my eyeball from rolling it so hard. I am so French.