I’m not sure how to describe how I’m feeling right now. Spent? I think I am spent. I’ve been on such a red alert for the past few weeks that I have no energy left to feel or care about anything.
There are so many opportunities floating around me right now – socially, professionally and hell, even romantically, and I don’t have the energy to reach for anything.* I have a nice batch of responsibilities in my basket and they are going well, but I filled it up so quickly and I’m having trouble doing anything else.
I don’t think I’m depressed again but I’ve been taking steps in case I am. I’m running more. Not drinking. Taking my vitamins. Seeking out the people who make me laugh even when I don’t feel like it.
However, during a delirious caffine high the other day, I promised to update you on stuff. So, here’s a list:
1. (I make lists when I’m feeling lazy.)
2. I bought the SHAM WOW and Jason and I are having a ball dumping water all over our apartment to test it out. It’s not as sweet as promised, but still pretty handy.
3. I promised Courtney I would finally do my Kinoki review, and that’ll be either this week or next.
4. I am still craving crab rangoon 24/7, though I am trying to not eat any crap this week.
5. I am researching area improv classes. Actually, I’ve been asking all my comedian pals, and they’re all pointing to the same class. So not really researching. Just waitng til the next session. I’m psyched because now Darren and I can IM about improv all day long.
6. I’ve discovered that MAN, I really hate people telling me what to do. Not like, bosses and authority figures. Just other people demanding shit. Can I get a please, please? I’ve found myself saying no even when I want to say yes, just because I’m irritated. Lame.
7. Gage is my new neighbor. This makes me extremely lucky, as Gage is an astoundingly great person. He constantly wows me with his heart. He’s the type of friend you want to have nearby, and now he is all the time so neener.
8. I’ve been listening to all the writer commentaries on Buffy, and they make me even more disappointed in myself when I write blogs with lists.
9. I just went outside to smoke and got hit on by my new teenage neighbor. I’m such a cougar!!!!!
10. This is my latest ghostwriting review, from the person I am ghosting: “You are so damn dope!” Amazing.
So… that about sums it up. Time for bed. Sorry I’ve been such a turd lately. I’ll snap out of this soon, hopefully. Either way, I’m sure the Kinoki will suck it out of me.
*Don’t worry. If I end up “back on the market”, I promise to do it with brevity.
Secretly Stephie 
Too many opportunities is difficult to deal with. You can either take them all and half-ass them or you can pick a few and try and do your best. Either way kinda sucks. Half-assing opportunities feels like such a cop-out, but turning down opportunities really sucks if you pick the wrong ones.
Still, at least you know your limits and are not trying to take everything on at once.
Hahaha!! You are such a cougar!! Niki has finally rubbed off on you.
By the way, I’m flattered I made the list. I’m beet-red blushing right now.