I am sad as hell today. Also heartbroken and pissed off. But I’ve learned a lot in the last few years, so I know good things can come from BS like this. Here are a few that I am enjoying today:
1. The “divorce diet.” 8 pounds in like 2 days. This shouldn’t make me happy but I’m always fascinated by how quickly heartache defines my abs.
2. I’ll probably take a long hiatus from crushes, which means there is zero chance of me turning into someone like Rachael.*
3. I can FINALLY go see Batman with a boy. Jesus.
4. I can re-adopt some of my favorite survival tactics like never trusting people, dating without feelings and believing love is for sucks.
5. I was reminded once again that Ron & Jen are King & Queen of Planet Besties.
6. I can quit smoking again (though this is how I always meet cute boys so it will probably be temporary).
7. I can humor my mom and her friends by letting them set me up with What’s His Face (which they have been begging to do since the circus). I am already anticipating disaster. This is going to be hilarious.
8. No more getting ditched on holidays!! Yaaaay.
9. Free time to join as many clubs as RØB can throw at me. Bring it, Squidmaster.
10. I can post all the Cloud videos that I want: