You know, writing about seasonal products has ensured that I will never be one of those people who proclaims, “I can’t believe it’s October!” or “Wow, Christmas already?” I look at Christmas stuff all day; Halloween is old news by now. And I don’t think time flies anymore. I don’t have much to look forward to these days, except maybe The Office.
Superbabe September was sort of okay. I didn’t get everything out of it that I wanted, but that’s okay. I’ve been sleeping much more, which I mostly attribute to my chilly apartment. When I was little, I used to get in trouble for opening my windows in the winter to make my room freezing. It’s cozier that way. I love it.
I don’t know what I want for October. I know I’m doing Thriller. I know I’m going camping.* I know I’m doing an assload of yardwork for my mom and maybe getting some muscles out of it. Definitely poison ivy, I just don’t know where or when. I know I’m chopping my hair off. I know what I’m going to be for Halloween.**
Basically, I just want to be happier at the end of this month than I am right now. I know I’m probably jinxing it but that’s the goal. I’ve been seriously down and caught up in my dumb problems. It’s time to snap out of it. My problems are absolutely nothing compared to things that other people face. I need to take advantage of what I have, rather than focus on what I’m missing.
My dad went back to the emergency room – nothing bad but yes, again – and I entertained myself by riding his wheelchair from the waiting room all the way down to the cafeteria. Someone in the elevator touched my shoulder and said, “You’re so brave.” Yikes.
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist was pretty darn cute. Any movie with a gay Greek Chorus gets an A+ in my book. Michael Cera does what he does best without overdoing himself. There are tons of cameos from actors that I really dig. But the best part was Drunk Caroline, played by Ari Graynor. She NAILS IT. I could not stop laughing. Watch out for her.
The bad part about dating a guy who lives halfway between you and your best friend is that when you stop dating, you still have to drive by their street all the time. I saw him walking last night. I thought about stopping and saying hi, but I didn’t. Even if he was happy to see me, it wouldn’t do me any good and I know it. That’s a sign that things are much better. It’s also a sign that, despite gas prices, I need to start driving the extra-long way.
For the first time in years (possibly decades), I don’t even have a crush. He was always my Go-To Crush because I never, ever expected him to like me back. So now I don’t even have a backup. I’m feelingless.
Do you guys remember that old children’s book, Are You My Mother? This little bird hatches in the nest while the mom is out looking for worms. He spends the whole book asking everyone and everything he sees, “Are you my mother? Are YOU my mother?”
When I first break up with a boy, I tend to wander around just like that little lost bird. I have a crush on everyone I come across and I think to myself, “Are you my new boyfriend? Are YOU my new boyfriend?”
I went through that for a few weeks. Then I got over it. Then I stopped missing him. And now I’m just shuffling through all these plutonic people, feelingless.
Maybe that’s my problem. I don’t care if anyone likes me right now. I just want to find someone to like. I need a Go-To Crush. I need something to look forward to. I need to get excited about stupid fun crush stuff, like pulling up to a friend’s house and seeing your crush’s car. I need goosebumps. I need daydreams. Where can I find that feeling again? Maybe I just need to move.
*And I’m betting my entire paycheck that Tony dutch-ovens our tent.
**I was really sad to end things with him before Halloween, because I REALLY wanted to be a Robert Palmer girl for Halloween. That costume only works if you have a guy dressed like Robert Palmer or a bunch of chicks dressed like you. Alone, it becomes more of an Adam Sandler costume – “Hey, I’m Too Much Makeup On The Face Lady! Give me some candy!”