Big Friday

You would think that during the four months we spent in London, we would find time to make it to all the big touristy landmarks. Not so much. By the end of the semester, my friends and I were all lamenting that we only had a week and a half left and too many sites to see. That’s when we decided to do as much as possible during our last Friday in London. We called it Big Friday.

Perhaps the only one more excited about Big Friday than us was the bird that pooped on Steve:

We didn’t go into the Met on Big Friday but this was one of our usual spots. It had a women’s bathroom so fancy that the boys snuck in to take pictures of it. There was a condom machine with flavors like popcorn and birthday cake. Hilarious. There was also a curry-flavored one and because of that, “curry” immediately became our code word for “doing it.”

The stop closest to our school was on Baker Street, made famous by the Gerry Rafferty song, the first Apple (Beatles) store, and of course Sherlock Holmes. It was pretty normal to bump into an impersonator on the way to get groceries or whatever.

When I went back to London a year later to visit my then-boyfriend, I took some time to just wander around the Baker Street station while he was at work. I adored that place.

Was this the Jubilee line? There was one line that was 100 times nicer than the others. Also it was full of cute boys:

You would think that being surrounded by cute boys would automatically make me more attractive. But nope, here I am fuggin’ it up at Buckingham Palace:

Below is Ian being adorable at Abbey Road. Years later, I bought a bulletin board at Target with that exact graffiti-covered image. I still kick myself for not writing on that sign. I could have been on a bulletin board from Target.

My boyfriend back home was obsessed with The Beatles and got me really into them, so I was psyched to finally see it. However, Abbey Road is incredibly busy and it’s hard to get that famous shot without an exasperated driver honking at you. It took a while but we finally got it. I was so excited that I actually detached my arm from my body. Notice the barefoot Kevin:

This was a week or so after George Harrison died so there were flowers and cards everywhere. George was my favorite Beatle, so it was the perfect time to be there and pay my respects.

Gratuitous cuteness:

Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!

Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!

That joke never got old. Another thing that never got old was the “Humps for __ Yards” road signs:

Up next: Trafalgar Square!
Kevin and I chase pigeons, tourists look on in disapproval.

More gratuitous cuteness:

Below is an awesome picture of Kevin, and you can’t tell from the scan but it’s also the most gorgeous candid windblown picture of me ever taken. In London I had long hair for the first time in a decade, and after the Ireland Incident it was so nice to get a makeover and chop it off. I always knew when Kevin was doing laundry because he would wear that purple sweater with a pair of orange swimming trunks.

Did you know that if you go to an embassy, you’re technically in that country? Here’s Kevin and I enjoying Canada:

 

OMG it’s Jen! Hi Jen!

 

 

Gratuitous cuteness in Hyde Park:

“Whatcha doin guy?” “Oh, just hanging out with this bike on my head…”

After the Big Friday Tour, everyone went out for a pub crawl. This was right after I got back from Ireland, so I was suspicious of pub crawls and opted to stay home and drink red wine with Ian. Hours later, Jen and Ray slooowly led a friend of ours back up to the room. He puked in a trash can for 15 minutes, took the bag and straight up dropped it out of the second-story window before we could stop him. Big Friday ended with a bang, or rather a sploosh. Big Friday was the best.

Days That I Miss – Volume 1

1. When I lived in my parent’s basement, my neighbor/little brother Tanner used to stop by almost every night with his giant dog Jiboo. We would sit on the back porch and discuss our day over cigarettes. Sometimes our neighbor Rachel and one of her dogs would join us as well. I miss this little family unit that we made. I miss that porch. I miss all of the unexpected visitors. NOTE: that Doberman puppy grew up to be larger than Jiboo, who is a Great Dane/Black Lab.

2. When Jen and Ron got married, all the Jersey boys stayed at my house. This was only the second time we saw each other after London. I thought it was so rad and weird that they were all hanging out in my room. I miss these dudes and wow, do I miss that room. That place was my heaven. NOTE: my mom made me sleep upstairs all weekend. Sure, my boyfriend was in the room, but so were four other dudes? What kind of trouble could I honestly get into?

3. When Brian broke my little heart, I basically cried and cried and cried for weeks. Kevin is one of the only reasons I survived. He would magically appear on my back porch unexpectedly (again, I miss that porch!) whenever I needed a friend. Sometimes he would surprise me with my favorite Happy Meal, which was nice because it was the kind of break up where you forget to eat. He was so patient with me while I blubbered like an idiot. I made him these Thank You cupcakes during a brief window of happiness. I don’t miss being heartbroken, but I vividly remember being overwhelmed almost daily by the kindness of my friends, and that was wonderful.

4. I don’t know which would take longer to explain: the amount of time we spent sitting on Warren’s back porch or the amount of time I spent with Pammy and Ra in general. Can you tell that my friends and I were Porch People? Pammy, Ra and I did everything together. I miss having a guaranteed posse everywhere I went. I don’t remember which one of them gave me that fortune, but I stuck in on that picture right before I left for London. Remember that summer when everyone ate carbs because they were low fat? Pammy, Ra and I would go to Steak & Rice to chain smoke and eat like a pint of rice each. We would sit there forever. It was like the Chinese Denny’s. I miss Warren’s porch and I miss Pammy and Ra something awful.

5. I was just talking to a friend about how we both miss being BFFs with Nick. He’s engaged so I can’t really hang with him one-on-one anymore. But there was a time when we hung out almost daily and it was lovely. He was another friend who helped me out after that break-up. It’s weird but when I look back at that time, I don’t remember being sad at all even though I was. I just remember discovering all of these cool new people and having a ball. This picture was taken the day B.B. King played on the riverfront. We were sitting directly underneath the Arch.

6. I miss Ty’s front porch almost as much as my back porch. This was the last night we hung out there beofre his parents sold the place. Ty’s mom let the boys put their band equipment in the living room and they jammed. It was hilarious and weird. Right before I took this picture, Adam dove in between them. I miss giggly drunk Adam. (Also, don’t tell their wives I said this but I think this is a hunky picture of everybody.)

7. Oh, Miss Tallulah. Tallulah lived in Connecticut. We were in the park when I took this picture. The boys were off longboarding and Tallulah snuggled with me while I read Harry Potter 5. After I finished, I made her a necklace out of clovers. It was a pretty day. I miss visiting Connecticut, I miss that dog and I REALLY miss diving into a brand new Harry Potter.

8. This is from that night at Mangia, right before everyone moved to the West Coast. Webster University was full of these creative, intelligent, amazing people; it’s the reason I chose to go there. Coire, Lizz and Kyle were three of my faves. I made a ton of friends senior year and I mostly owe it to Kyle. Holy crap, I miss hanging out with Kyle. NOTE: this picture includes two Founding Fathers of the Twin Peaks Club.

9. Hanging out with the Frat Boys is a little lonely now that Ra lives far away. And hanging out with the Frat Boys is rare nowadays, too. This circle of friends always went crazy on the 4th of July. That year it was like 100 degrees. We spent the entire day drinking and eating while standing in a kiddie pool, and then we all piled in the back of a covered pick-up truck to go to the park for fireworks. When I think of these days, the only word that comes to mind is “rowdy.” I’m too old to be rowdy. I miss being rowdy and I miss Ra.

10. Oh, these dudes. Probably my two favorite co-workers in the history of employment. I used to blog about them all of the time when I first started this thing. The thrift store we worked at received so many donations one year that we filled up a second location and a gigantic warehouse and STILL needed to put the off-season clothes in PODS. Lots of PODS. There were so many racks of clothes that we couldn’t get them out of the back door; we had to go out the front and drag them around the building. And if we wanted any sort of walking room, we had to do this daily, even in the rain. There were always 600 ponchos to choose from so we always chose the most obnoxious ones. It was so chaotic but I liked moving around all day. My boss put me in charge of organizing most of the clothes. I loved the responsibility and the OCD side of me was delirious with joy. I LOOOOVED goofing off with Morgan and Andy. MISS IT!

UP NEXT: BIG FRIDAY IN LONDON!!

Disturbingly Undisturbed

Every now and then, I’ll see something and realize that it should really freak me out… but for some unexplained reason, I either enjoy it or regard it with general indifference. Examples:

1. The premise of E!’s Girls Next Door.

2. The lyrics to any Top 40 song the kids are humpty-dancing to these days.

3. Foreign people who still faint when they see Michael Jackson.

4. The way my roommate and his BFF giggle when they kill people in Grand Theft Auto.

5. Ryan on the new (completely old-school and amazing) Real World. The first thing I thought when I saw his drunken fist pump was, “I hope Rich makes an animated GIF out of that.” He did not disappoint.

6. Mariah Carey’s marriage to Nick Cannon.

7. The fact that it’s Tina Chen‘s world and I’m just living in it.

8. Eyelash extensions.

9. My Bizzaro-World twinblog The Captain (although to be fair, he owns it and gives me a shoutout in the last paragraph).

10. Gonzo’s romantic interest in chickens on The Muppet Show.

And here’s something so awesome I can’t believe it’s acceptable:

1. Cheese Danishes. It’s cheesecake for breakfast. WHAAAAAAT.

She’s Lump, She’s In My Head

So this past weekend I found a lump in my boob. A very painful lump. And while I know the bad lumps are usually painless, pain tells my brain that there’s danger. You know what else tells my brain that there’s danger? A lump in my bewb.

After the Summer of Insane Medical Sitches with my dad, I have learned to not freak out about things until they are 100% diagnosed and mos def. And luckily for YOU, I have learned to not freak people out unnecessarily. So aside from a couple of b-fries, I have been keeping all my thoughts of disease and death to myself.

So today… today I was sitting in the waiting room at the Women’s Health Center? And freaking “LANDSLIDE” came over the speakers.

That song makes me sob hysterically in my car even when I am well-rested, well-fed and not pmsing at all. I even get a little teary-eyed when Billy Corgan sings it. So playing this song in a pink-ribbon-covered “friend-to-friend” environment should be absolutely illegal.

While I was fighting my own emotions, I glanced around and realized that I was up to my vajay in glassy-eyed, sniffling females questioning their own mortality.

So I said out loud, “Wow, can we sing something else?” And everyone laughed. *curtsey*

While I will never be the type of girl who shows the outside of her boobs on the Internet – in ANY economy – I am obviously the type of girl who will show you the inside of her boob:

It looks like the ocean!

During an ultrasound, the screen will cloud up for a second every time they move the… the thingy. You can see some of it in the corner. It looks like smoke. Like a cloud of smoke. Like… a smoke monster. OMG NEW LOST IS NEXT WEEK LOST IS NEXT WEEK OMG LOST LOST HOT DANIEL FARADAY LOST.

So that’s my story of the week I secretly thought I was dying. But in case it wasn’t clear, I am fine. Everything is normal. In fact:

Area in question? Rad.

NEXT WEEK: S’up Daniel?

The (Birthday) Room

“It’s like the new Rocky Horror. Now at one point, people throw plastic spoons at the screen…you have to check it out. It’ll…it’ll change your life.”

– Piz explaining The Room to Wallace, Veronica Mars

Step One: Watch this trailer:

Step Two: Read this article. (Quotes from David Cross, David Wain and basically everyone who is awesome.)

Step Three: Answer this question – worst movie ever or…

BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER???

I have this little notebook where I write down virtually everything, including recommendations. And when Piz mentioned “The Room” on Veronica Mars, I remember writing it down. After reading that article and some obsessive YouTubing, I am completely geeking out.

Seats are already filled up for the birthday screening (my apartment can only hold one circle of friends at a time), but if everyone has fun then I might try to make this a regular thing. There may even be theme cupcakes like my last movie night.

Bonus scene because I love you:

Regarding My Weekend

POP QUIZ:

Am I making these faces on the inside because of:

a) Terrifying Facebook friend requests

b) My bathroom scale

c) Running a combined 12 miles and reviving my stress fracture

d) A terrifying unresolved health issue and/or hypochondriac google panic party

e) Ex-boyfriend at my front door

f) No drinking

g) 10% of my usual cigarette intake

h) Spotting Frank & Erik as a “New and Notable” podcast on iTunes

i) Writing the sh*t out of new stuff, which I haven’t done in forever

j) New Twin Peaks Club tomorrow?

k) Giving half of my closet to charity

l) The biggest full moon of 2009

m) The PMS

n) Discovering (and becoming obsessed with) The Recently Deflowered Girl

o) The newest 30 Rock with Kenneth’s version of Top That

p) Recovering from dancing at Girl Talk

q) Recovering from eye-rolling at BOY Talk

r) Being forced against my will to watch Rock of Love: Bus

s) Some of the above

t) All of the above

HINTS:

* D and E are absolutely not related
* E and Q unfortunately are
* A was not E, but did result in a terrible nostalgic 1-2 punch
* L and M when combined are lethal (for Gummy Bears)
* C, F and P canceled out B
* All could have benefited from F and G, though R made me appreciate my decision

ANSWER:

t) All of the above

Random Pictures

From the latest Thrill the World:

According to Katie’s hand and foot in the lower left corner, I am perfectly in sync. Probably a fluke. Photo by RØB.

I was so excited to show off my new Nikon that I took a picture of it with my phone.

Also I get really excited when I’m holding something that matches my outfit?

These are the neighborhood kids who hooped with us at the Pancake Productions BBQ:

Hoops (and the picture) courtesy of the fabulous Courtney.

Alley Cats:

I like how B and I are perfectly framed in the chain link. Photo by RØB.

On the side of 7-11, there is a parking space that used to be 15 minute parking only. It has since been converted into a handicapped space, but they left up the old sign.

So you can’t walk, BUT YOU’D BETTER RUN.

Wild Card Inside

I put myself out there, willingly showing you that I was being rejected, that I wanted something I could not get, and that I was going out of my way not necessarily to get it, but to overcome my fixation. I was smiling at my silliness, at the human foible of wanting what we can’t have and foolishly throwing myself into dangerous or cold waters when I can stay high and dry elsewhere. I was celebrating my strength of not letting unrequited love stop me from the opportunity to share what I could experience up close.

– Pavla Fleischer

There is no reason to mourn nothingness, even though it may feel like a loss. And although the inevitable replacement for love is anger or resentment or bitterness, those are all things you don’t need in your heart. Why carry something so heavy when you’re about to embark on a journey?

It’s beautiful when you realize that what you’re left with is not so much an emptiness,
but rather a welcome space tingling with anticipation and wonder.

(I promise I’m not high.)

I Got Gloss On My Lips, A Man On My Hips

I think it’s bizarre that every year, there’s an official day for the following activities:

– Blowing things up
– Gorging yourself on a 2,500 calorie meal
– Encouraging childhood obesity
– Getting drunk and calling your ex
– Spiraling into obscene credit card debt
– Watching Coming to America

And then tonight,

– Staying up all night to party and shoot guns in the air

America is nuts.

~~~*~~~

My New Years was pretty sweet – Katie and Joe are far enough along in their building renovation to have people over, so they had a cool party full of all the cool people (somehow I managed to sneak in). Their place looks amazing, but it’s Katie and Joe so was there any doubt? Truly, they are the DIY King and Queen.

All the usual ingredients from our parties were there: lots of booze, fireworks from Ron and Nick, salsa from Katie, some sort of awesome arts and crafts, a cross-eyed drunk, great music, great girlie gossip over cigarettes, and so on and so on.

They have this giant projector on the wall, so movies, Wii games and the ball drop were surreal and amazing. My dream is to someday do the “Single Ladies” dance in front of that screen.