Go Shortcake, It’s Your Birthday

Every June 11, Shortcake gets one year older. And every year, I forget to acknowledge it. Well, this is the 5-Year Blogiversary, kids. So it’s time for a pat on the back. No no, not my back. Yours.

I usually don’t talk about the amount of hits I get on this blog unless it’s a big milestone. And I certainly don’t delude myself into thinking that I’m remotely talented or well known just because strangers read this. In fact, people on Tumblr and Twitter are so obsessed with their “followers” and pseudo-fame that I’ve gotten a little grossed out and considered not even acknowledging this little landmark. It’s just the Internet, babies. We’re all stars here.

But I think it’s pretty remarkable that in the beginning, I only had 3 readers (Jen, Ron, and Kevin), and now my life is full of friendships and opportunities that were made possible solely because of this site and the people who read it. It has turned a pessimist into an optimist, and an introvert into a notorious extrovert. It has honestly changed my life, and changed it for the better. And that’s not because of me. It’s because of you.

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I started Shortcake during graduate school. At the time, I told everyone I was procrastinating while I wrote my thesis. But the truth is, I had gotten dumped by a boy who lived on the East Coast, and I wanted him to see how great I was doing without him and remember how witty and incredible I was. I wanted him to read this blog, miss me terribly, and beg me to take him back.

And it worked. In fact, it worked so well that after a week of talking, he was promising to move here. Make up for everything. Start a life with me. The works.

Obviously it was only temporary, and after we broke up again I had to give Shortcake another purpose. And more importantly, I had to give my life a different purpose because I honestly thought I was going to marry him. Move with him. Have some babies. The works.

“Now what?” I wondered (and wrote to all of you).

The truth is, I still don’t know. And so, I’m still writing. For a moment in time, I was on this clear path with a clear destination. Now I’m on this wild detour with no end in sight. But I love all the twists and turns, all the discoveries, and even the bumps in the road. Mostly, I’ve loved sharing all of it with you:

• My first blind date.
• My first gray hair.
• My first real job (and did I bust out a “That’s what he said” in 2005? Yes I did).
• Finally falling in love again.
• Inevitably getting my heart broken again (but breaking a few myself).
• Dancing in private.
• Dancing in public.
• Giving up on life.
• Remembering why life rocks.
• Crappy poetry.
• The Imagine Rule.
• The Reverse Thomas J.
• The one about Halloween (and the best comment thread ever; way to go gang).
• Getting compared to Carol Burnett by a very hilarious, very drunk man.
• The Secretary General of Cool (who just returned from a Malian village and was the first white man they’ve ever seen; it never stops).
• Having the official “Best Year Ever“.
• Finding Heaven in my hash browns.
• Being sleepless and prolific.
• Being sleepless and totally ridiculous.
• Someone predicting my death.
• Watching my friends basically save a life.
• Remembering past adventures.
• Enjoying new ones.
• Accidentally flirting with my ex’s half brother. (*takes a bow*)
• Discovering how it feels to actually grow up.

And so on, and so on, and so on…

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I feel so comfortable spilling my guts because I know old friends (like Heather, Courtney, J, Pandy, Emily H., Steve and of course Jen, Ron and Kevin) are here cheering me on.

I keep writing because friends-of-friends end up reading this blog, and somehow it grows into real friendships that I value immensely (like with RØB, Janet, Courtney, Charles, Emily, Erin F., Erin T, Josh, Jaime, Sara, Allison, Rob and The Captain).

When talented people I respect and writers I admire (like Andy, Coire, Francis, Stee, Davy, Mort, John N., Ray, Frank and Erik) tell me that that they read this blog and like it, I totally freak out. And when I get a comment like this, I may or may not cry.

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I have to give a special shout-out to Ben. He was the first stranger who ever wrote to me to tell me that he liked my blog. I was so fascinated and freaked out by this that I had to meet him. We ate frozen custard at Ted Drewes. Then one day, he sent me this:

That’s Beth Grant, the actress who said my favorite movie quote ever, saying it directly to me. That actually happened because I write about my dumb life on the Internet (and because Ben makes movies and totally rocks). That is INSANE.

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Since I’ve linked to half of my archives, I might take a week off. So I want to congratulate Kevin and Monica now for GETTING MARRIED on Saturday!

ALSO: As much as I write on here, my favorite thing I’ve ever written isn’t on Shortcake. It’s the last sentence of this.

So… I think that’s enough, right? Is that enough to commemorate five years, five hundred entries and countless fantastic friends? Do you have enough hyperlinks to last a lifetime? Have I completely grossed you out and now you’re barfing? I hope so. And I love you. Thank you for listening.