At least twice a week, my roommate Jason and I will arrive home at the same time and share a drunk giggly recap of the night before we go to bed, or a croaky conversation about it the next morning.
He has a lot of trouble keeping track of my friends’ names, especially if he’s never met them. And I’ve only truly dated 2 boys since I’ve lived with him, but there have been several crushes, pursuitors, or one-date-wonders. And whether I am happy, angry, sad, or in love, he never has any idea who I am talking about. Unless, of course, he gives them a nickname.
You are not officially a man in my life until Jason figures out what to call you. Here are some of my favorite nicknames that Jason has thrown out over the years:
* Harvey Danger
* Revenge of the Nerd
* Found Guy
* Oh Yeah, Mike! – The one he set me up with and actually knows
* The Mexican – clearly not Mexican; I have no idea where this came from and neither does Jason
* “LET’S HANG” – named for an actual text the dude sent me at 3 in the morning
* Mr. Opportunity – what he’s called my ex since he got fired from Imo’s
* The, uh… [points to eyebrows]
* Straight Doogie
* Fat Paul Rudd
I love Jason. And yes, he has a nickname for Justin. No, I will not tell you which one.
To reiterate, I have NOT dated or even liked all these dudes, no matter what Frank and Ray tell you.
2 responses to “Jason’s Approval”
In my head, I’ve always referred to Mr. Opportunity as “Captain Ambitious.”
Nice. I still love when you said, “Who? Oh ew, the d-bag with the visor?”