Monthly Archives: November 2009


There’s a warm fuzzy part of me that I can only feel when I’m around these folks. You have no idea how much I love them. Also they are bananas.

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Somehow The Sidebar turned into that girl’s house where they had the kegger in Can’t Hardly Wait:

The reunion was strange but sort of wonderful. Pretty sure the shy quiet kid who sat behind me for 9 years (thanks to alphabetical order) showed up on acid. I mistakenly climbed into a giant hamster wheel with Ty and almost bit it. We smuggled Justin in for free!

The after party was insane and I lost my voice. Haven’t been in a bar that crowded since London.

Also, I know it’s tacky and lame to talk about how many people read your blog, but this month I set a new record, hits-wise and independent views-wise. Thanks gang!


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“Get Off My Ass Dude Seriously!”

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I forgot to tell you this, but the day after my concert (which I’ll write about eventually), Justin and I went Kirkwood Park and we saw a duck with a 3-inch brown mohawk:

I get to see my best friend in 12 hours! Wheee!!!

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The Time I Saw A UFO

Cross my heart. Driving south on 270, just past Manchester. It may have been a meteor, but as my friend D. Mike points out, until I know for sure it’s unidentified and therefore ABSOLUTELY a UFO.


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I’m sort of in love with these brothers:

“You have a freaking boner for that freaking camera; get out of my faaaace!”

I know what you’re thinking – HOAX – but the first tantrum the kid threw is something that can’t be faked. It looks exactly like that exorcism I saw at Church Camp (you heard me):

So what’s your favorite part? I can’t decide between:

* the part where he emerges from underneath the covers magically undressed,

* the part where he walks in the closet for approximately 1 second,

* the part where he contemplates… sticking a remote up his ass?

* or, the twerpy way his brother dashes back in the room to grab the camera.

I seriously watched the entire series of Stephen Tantrums TWICE today and highly recommend them.
From what I can gather, this family is filthy rich. I appreciate the brother’s ability to capitalize on this. Man, if Stephen was my son, I would spend all my free time pissing him off. Hilarious.


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“Started Out So Heartfelt.” “I Know, I’m Sorry.”

Last week, my buddies/favorite podcasters Frank & Erik gave me the sweetest, most complementary shout-out and asked listeners to donate to my cause. How cute is that?

It’s just before the 57 minute mark of Episode 38, but you should really listen to the whole thing. I legitimately laugh out loud repeatedly during every F&E episode. Heck, download/stream all the archives, too. It’s truly the best thing on the Internet. (At least play Episode 19, where I smootch a drunk Davy Rothbart in the intro.)

I have been looking for ways to pledge my allegiance (aside from Tiger Beatesque entries like this) and thankfully they’ve made buttons… featuring Frank’s jort-adorned crotch*:

Trust me, YOU NEED FRANK & ERIK INTERNET FAMOUS IN YOUR LIFE. And if they’re already in your life, you already know how much you need Frank’s Jort Junk on your backpack and/or jean jacket. Subscribe today. Get a button. Be awesome.

*I swear, I wrote “pledge my allegiance” and “jort-adorned” before I read Erik’s entry… I ain’t changing it! We’re both brilliant! Suck it!

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