Monthly Archives: November 2009


There’s a warm fuzzy part of me that I can only feel when I’m around these folks. You have no idea how much I love them. Also they are bananas.

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Somehow The Sidebar turned into that girl’s house where they had the kegger in Can’t Hardly Wait:

The reunion was strange but sort of wonderful. Pretty sure the shy quiet kid who sat behind me for 9 years (thanks to alphabetical order) showed up on acid. I mistakenly climbed into a giant hamster wheel with Ty and almost bit it. We smuggled Justin in for free!

The after party was insane and I lost my voice. Haven’t been in a bar that crowded since London.

Also, I know it’s tacky and lame to talk about how many people read your blog, but this month I set a new record, hits-wise and independent views-wise. Thanks gang!


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“Get Off My Ass Dude Seriously!”

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I forgot to tell you this, but the day after my concert (which I’ll write about eventually), Justin and I went Kirkwood Park and we saw a duck with a 3-inch brown mohawk:

I get to see my best friend in 12 hours! Wheee!!!

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The Time I Saw A UFO

Cross my heart. Driving south on 270, just past Manchester. It may have been a meteor, but as my friend D. Mike points out, until I know for sure it’s unidentified and therefore ABSOLUTELY a UFO.


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I’m sort of in love with these brothers:

“You have a freaking boner for that freaking camera; get out of my faaaace!”

I know what you’re thinking – HOAX – but the first tantrum the kid threw is something that can’t be faked. It looks exactly like that exorcism I saw at Church Camp (you heard me):

So what’s your favorite part? I can’t decide between:

* the part where he emerges from underneath the covers magically undressed,

* the part where he walks in the closet for approximately 1 second,

* the part where he contemplates… sticking a remote up his ass?

* or, the twerpy way his brother dashes back in the room to grab the camera.

I seriously watched the entire series of Stephen Tantrums TWICE today and highly recommend them.
From what I can gather, this family is filthy rich. I appreciate the brother’s ability to capitalize on this. Man, if Stephen was my son, I would spend all my free time pissing him off. Hilarious.


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“Started Out So Heartfelt.” “I Know, I’m Sorry.”

Last week, my buddies/favorite podcasters Frank & Erik gave me the sweetest, most complementary shout-out and asked listeners to donate to my cause. How cute is that?

It’s just before the 57 minute mark of Episode 38, but you should really listen to the whole thing. I legitimately laugh out loud repeatedly during every F&E episode. Heck, download/stream all the archives, too. It’s truly the best thing on the Internet. (At least play Episode 19, where I smootch a drunk Davy Rothbart in the intro.)

I have been looking for ways to pledge my allegiance (aside from Tiger Beatesque entries like this) and thankfully they’ve made buttons… featuring Frank’s jort-adorned crotch*:

Trust me, YOU NEED FRANK & ERIK INTERNET FAMOUS IN YOUR LIFE. And if they’re already in your life, you already know how much you need Frank’s Jort Junk on your backpack and/or jean jacket. Subscribe today. Get a button. Be awesome.

*I swear, I wrote “pledge my allegiance” and “jort-adorned” before I read Erik’s entry… I ain’t changing it! We’re both brilliant! Suck it!

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This Is The Face You Make …

… when you miss that dang Final Jeopardy:

MERCHANDISE HERE, LOL. He was awesome. He got a Daily Double and everyone in South City passed out from excitement.

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RØB Is On Jeopardy!

I’ll take OMFG for $400, Alex.

King of The Squids, ladies and jents.

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The Black Madonna Shrine

Yesterday Justin and I went to the Black Madonna Shrine, a very beautiful collection of mosaics and quartz grottoes built by a monk from the Franciscan Missionary Brothers of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. We didn’t even make it to the coolest part; who wants to go back with us?

This is the perfect day trip for anyone who loves nature, photography, hiking, art or religious monuments. NOTE: THIS IS EVERYONE I KNOW.

I overheard one of the monks on the phone; he said the past couple of years have been hard and low on visitors. So please go! They have picnic tables! It’s the prettiest!

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Full album here.


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There’s A Beef Party and Everyone’s Invited

Well no, you weren’t invited. But yes, there was a Beef Party.

Jen and Ron received a cow’s worth of meat… literally. An actual cow was chopped up, wrapped into delicious pieces and placed into their freezer. So being the awesome friends that they are, they had a Beef Party and barbequed for all of their friends. I had a steak; Justin had steak and ribs. Yum!

This was the second time in a week that a friend cooked us meat. We are getting pretty spoiled; KEEP IT UP GUYS. Also, Justin deleloped the Stereo Viewer pictures of us at Laumeier, and we blew everyone’s brains with 3D slides. That thing is the coolest!

Today we’re taking more stereo viewer pictures at The Black Madonna Shrine. Hooray for field trips!

(I didn’t have a picture of the Beef Party or the Stereo Viewer, so I figured I would post my, Jen and Nick’s other favorite thing in the world, the alien baby from the original V. Brought to you today by DListed.)

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And The Other’s Gold

Liz is coming to town in less than two weeks for our High School Reunion, and I couldn’t be happier.

I’ve known this girl for almost 20 years, and since Rachael and I aren’t friends anymore (a decision that was easier for me to make than I thought), my friendship with Liz is the longest friendship that I have. I was the Maid of Honor at her wedding and if I get married, she’ll be the Maid of Honor at mine.

Last night when I was hanging out with my dad (who has been doing more hallucinating than eating these days and it sucks), I realized that Liz is one of the only friends who can truly understand what I’m going through with him. And as my oldest friend, she’s probably the only one who has spent a lot of time with my dad as opposed to meeting him briefly.

If the past month has taught me anything, it’s that I’ve been blessed with incredible friends who want to help me just because they like me. But – and no offense to anyone – it will be such a relief to talk to someone my age who knows how much this disease has eaten away at my dad… a friend who can look at him and see the man he used to be (and know that he’s still that man on the inside).

But above all, it will just be nice to see her in general. She’s my best friend in the world and she cracks me up and she always says the exact thing you need to hear in every situation (and it’s always 100% sincere).

Sometimes God brings the perfect person into your life exactly when you need them, like someone from home when you’re so far away (Jen), someone who makes makes you laugh when you’re stuck in the woods with your ex (Erin), or someone who – in the middle of the scariest time of your life – manages to make you feel like the happiest, luckiest person on Earth (Jake Gyllenhaal. Kidding; Justin.)

But then there are the people who are somehow always with you no matter how far away they are… and when you see them, a lifetime of memories and laughter and support all come rushing back, and it doesn’t just fill a hole in your heart. It mends a heart that’s been shattered.

I told everyone at the benefit that I was afraid of crying while holding a microphone – that I did it once before at a wedding and it was embarrassing. It was Liz’s wedding (and in case you weren’t at the benefit: yes, I cried on stage in front of all my friends while holding a microphone, andIdon’twanttotalkaboutit).

Well, NOW my biggest fear is that when I see her at the airport, I’m going to hug her and cry really hard and freak everyone out. But… maybe she’ll cry, too. Or maybe we’ll just shriek and jump around. Or maybe we’ll just laugh and go to Applebee’s and share quesadillas with no tomatoes like we always do. You guys, Liz is so awesome. And man, this is exactly what I need.

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Someone Made Me Cry On Ebay

Current Mood:

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Still Busy Bragging About My Friends

Since I posted the Thank You video , I have received $425 more in donations, with checks still on the way. What on earth.

Here are some awesome videos that The Captain recorded of Kevin Buckley and The Takedown at 3 Cheers for the Weirs. Thanks dude!

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The Reverse Mix Tape

Yesterday was our Opposite Anniversary (11-8… because our anniversary was 8-11). So to celebrate, I made him an Opposite Mix:

Justin makes incredible mixes that I can’t compete with (“Tammy Smith” by Wesley Willis? C’mon!) so I don’t even try. He may know every beautiful hipster love song on the planet, but I am an expert in the miserable.

Behold, my favorite amazing songs about terrible dysfunctional relationships:

1. I Want to Break Free – Queen

2. Lola – The Kinks

3. I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You) – Aretha Franklin

4. Cecelia – Simon & Garfunkel

5. Train in Vain – The Clash

6. Jive Talkin’ – Bee Gees

7. Who’s Lovin’ You – Jackson 5

8. Suspicious Minds – Elvis

9. Hold Me Now – Thompson Twins

10. Love the One You’re With – Stephen Stills

11. Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right – Bob Dylan

12. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover – Paul Simon

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Look What You Did!

I should be impressed with myself for the whole event, but honestly right now I’m more shocked that I just taught myself how to rip M4Ps into MP3s and add it to my movie.

Thanks for making my mom cry guys!!!


Filed under Favorite Stories, Sam I Am

So That Happened

Justin and I finished counting up all the cash and checks and paypal donations – and I burst into tears out of astonishment and exhaustion and being touched beyond belief. I cried. A lot. You’re amazing and I may come up with more words eventually, but you’ve rendered me speechless.

$2283 – with more still on the way. THANK YOU.

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3 Cheers For The Weirs


Benefit Concert and Raffle at Off Broadway, featuring Bill Michalski, Kevin Buckley, and The Takedown. The money raised during this event will help my mom purchase expensive equipment such as lifts, prosthetics, and a hospital bed for my dad.

As many of you know, my father has had 5 major operations in the past year, including two leg amputations and a triple bypass. He is currently in the middle of his 6th operation for bedsores and a leg that is not healing well.

He has been in hospitals and homes for 2 1/2 months. My dad would love to come home, and this equipment will make it so much easier for my 66-year-old mother take care of him. Every penny will make a world of difference.

NOTE: this is a SURPRISE for my mom, so please don’t mention it to her!

Several out-of-town friends have asked how they can donate (and wow, thank you so much!). Below is a paypal link:

Thank you again to everyone who has asked about donating!

(This was pulled word for word from the Facebook event because I am sleepy as all get out, but I’m awake enough to thank Janet from the bottom of my heart for that kickass flyer, as well as Bill, Kevin, Ryan, Warren, Danny, Ben, Josh, Steve, Justin, Ann, and everyone else who has donated money, gift certificates or their time in the past week or so. My dad thanks you, too. You’re amazing.)

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My Buddy and Me

I left my brush at his house after camping. It was a busy weekend, so he dropped it in my mail slot while I was still in the county. In a baggie. With a sticker attacked. This right here. This is why I’m crazy about him:

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