No Topanga, No

If there’s one thing about “celebrity news” that bothers me (besides celebrity babies), it’s news stories about how an actress “struggled” with her weight, when in reality her problems were nothing compared to the struggle of an average woman.

I think this started with my arch-enemy Maria Menounos, who claimed that she was “practically obese” at 155 lbs. in college and could *gasp* eat four pieces of pizza at once! About a month later, I read a story where she talked about how hard it was to have a diabetic father. At the time, I was probably 160 lbs. and had a blind diabetic father, and I was like fuck you Maria Menounos. And fuck you, media. Where the hell is my Us Weekly cover?

This week, my beef is with the author of a recent People article about Danielle Fishel, who played Topenga on Boy Meets World. And I mean, I like Danielle Fishel! I think she is gorgeous!

In the article, she claims that after topping out at a ghastly 140 bs., she “struggled” with her 112 weight, and has now “accepted” her weight of 126 lbs. I rolled my eyes out of my head when I read this article because:

1. I would choke a bitch to weigh 126. And if we’re being honest, I would choke a bitch to weigh 140!

2. I know it’s catty and evil to comment on this, but I find it hard to believe that her “curvy” “real” weight is 126. (And let me stress this, I don’t think she’s fat.) Maybe I just don’t want to believe it. Because it would be too sad if she was that stressed about weighing exactly what she should weigh. Fishel is 5’1 – an inch shorter than me. I know that everyone is shaped differently and the camera adds 10 lbs., but does anyone remember that week I weighed 125? Or even the year I weighed 135? I was rocking a size 2 and 4!

3. The article barely mentions the time she weighed 89 lbs. and passed out on the set of Boy Meets World. I’m sorry, but when you consider coping with a tubby 126 lbs more of a struggle than starving yourself into unconciousness? You’re part of the problem. I want to punch whoever wrote this.

4. The part that angers me the most is when the writer claimed that Fishel, after a bikini photoshoot, “GORGED HERSELF” on a meal of “grilled cheese, french fries and a milkshake.” Yes, “gorged”. Is that really what gorged means these days? Granted it’s a crap meal with a days worth of calories, but it’s also an entree, side dish and drink. To me, gorged means more than one meal at a time, like a whole pizza or a box of Entenman’s donuts or whatever else people eat in Lifetime movies.

Sorry to rant. I’ve been on this mission to lose 40 lbs (which will place me at the exact BMI recommended for someone my height and age) and I’ve had to defend this decison around people (most of whom are at least 6 inches taller than me and will therefore always consider me “tiny”) and I really want a quesedilla from Qudoba today and I’m sad that I can’t and I’m just this hungry fat fatty with fat on the brain.

*To be fair, I should probably hate their PR reps more than anyone else. Or like, society. But it should be illegal to participate in an article like this unless you were actually obese or at a weight that would cause health problems.

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8 Comments

Filed under Botheration, Pop Goes The Culture

8 responses to “No Topanga, No

  1. Janternet

    Just have to say I agree with you completely.

  2. Erin

    Pshaw. That girl doesn’t weigh 126. Have you watched The Dish? Maybe her BOOBS weigh 126, but not her. Also, I haven’t weighed 126 since the 5th grade, and even when I was wearing a size 3, I was still at more than 150. I remember that about Maria Menounos, too. She should have stayed “obese.” Bitch looks like a golem now.

  3. Allison

    I didn’t know about any of this, but essentially got more and more enraged as i read along. As a curvy short girl myself, I would kill to be 140 pounds. I’ve “accepted” myself at 160!
    I know that you are a chesty girl as well, so be careful about the BMI stuff. For my height 5’3, I’m supposed to be about 130, which I know is just never going to happen for me unless I starved myself and exercised for 2 hours every single day. I applaud you for wanting to be healthy, but I hope you are factoring in the knockers.

  4. Indecisive

    We had a similar storm in a bra-cup in Australia lately. Jennifer Hawkins (who is a former Miss Universe) went on the cover of a magazine without being photoshopped to encourage women to have a realistic body-image. Apart from some unevenness in skin tone, you couldn’t see a thing wrong with her … she was practically perfect in every way. Having struggled with my weight all my life, I’d love to see some role models who did the hard yards and came out the other side not perfect, but healthy and attractive as a result of their efforts.

    By the way, thanks for your comment at my blog. I have been following yours for quite some time now (the Down-Under Lurker) and have really enjoyed reading about your journey! However, the sums to combat spam when leaving a comment were just too hard for me to do 🙂

    Now, what’s 2 + 1?

  5. secretlystephie

    Oh wow, thank you! And hi back – I like your blog, too!
    Your celeb scandal reminds me of this amazing Jezebel post from a while back (scroll down for a shocker):
    http://jezebel.com/278919/heres-our-winner-redbook-shatters-our-faith-in-well-not-publishing-but-maybe-god
    And Allison – good call. I was not factoring them in (I try to pretend they’re not there and hope they will just go away) but I suppose I should aim a little higher.

  6. Angela

    I think it’s spelled Topanga, not Topenga lol. 🙂

    And in regards to #3, when was this? It must have been when very early in the show when she was 12 or 13, because she was never that thin.

  7. Secretlystephie

    STEPHIE SPELL NOT GOOD WHEN ANGRY RAH

    The article said it happened when she was 16. (Yeah, I was racking my brain for that time, too.) If you want to check out the article, it’s in the issue with Heidi Montag on the cover (who is a product of basically everything wrong with women and society, to the point where she’s not even worth mentioning. Except now. Anyway.)

  8. Veronica

    First, I freakin’ love you! Second, F Topanga and all of those other celebrities who have personal trainers and dieticians practically living with them. Third, you would be adorable at any size. 🙂

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