Tide Is High

I haven’t been in much of a sharing mood lately. It’s mostly because I’ve been dealing with a lot of negative people and a lot of situations that shouldn’t be blabbed about online. (Though I love how I’ve managed to milk like 4 entries out of it anyway. This is “undersharing” for me? Pathetic.)

But also? The Internet is grossing me out these days. I can’t articulate why without getting long winded and insulting people (including myself), but basically I’m trying to do more real world stuff instead of Internet stuff. This is why Secretly Stephie is not as fun as a Tumblr.

So far, my month has been all about this:

Halfway in, I’m finally getting it. (Seriously, how eerie was it that I picked the exact Year Without Goal I needed, just before I needed it the most?)

But mainly, I came here today to share that lately I feel like a completely different person.

I’m not sure why. Love? Loss? Moving? Searching? Sleeping? Accepting? Generic birth control vs. brand name? I have no idea. But I almost feel like I’ve been dropped into a new life, and I’m approaching everything cautiously because I’m not sure how to feel about it these days. Work. Friends. Family. Me. Not bad feelings. Just different. I’m seeing everything with new eyes.

There’s been a shift, is all. Something happened. I don’t know what it means yet, and I don’t know if I have the energy to be excited, but I hope it’s interesting, or at least fulfilling.

New me is pretty yappy and boring, huh? Maybe this is just how people blog in their thirties.

(Image via SlightlyPretentious)


Filed under The Year Without

4 responses to “Tide Is High

  1. Courtney

    I used to have “universal shifts” where I felt as if I could actually percieve that the universe just shifted. Sometimes it would pick me up and I would watch it shift from below, sometimes it would drag me and I’d watch it shift as I passed things by. Usually, it was the fault of the Spooky Wizards. They are always trying to tell me something, but as indirectly as the subconscious does in dreams. If they’re around, though, it means you’re doing something right. Also, my vote is for Nuvaring, it’s the shiznit.

    Also, I get grossed out by the Internet, sometimes, too.

    Rock on, Stephanie. Writing this comment to you is helping me keep from unleashing all the things I shouldn’t be talking about on the Internet, too. Thanks.

  2. SecretlyStephie

    Thanks Courtney!

    NuvaRing made me psycho. My Ex and I called it “The Ring” because when I talked to him, like, a creepy demonic girl would crawl out of my mouth and try to strangle him with her bare hands.

    They keep giving me generic Yaz even though I am practically begging, “Just let me give you more money!” I finally scored samples of something they swear is the same as Yaz, just with Vitamin B. It’s called, hilariously, “Beyaz.”

    I started it yesterday. Everyone tell me if I’m being a bitch in 3 weeks.

  3. Jane

    I love the excerpt. “Besmirch” is one of my favorite words. It is just a lot of fun to say.

    If the bitchiness has kicked in by tomorrow night, I’ll be sure to let you know. What are friends for? 🙂

  4. Courtney

    Hahaha, The Ring. TMI. But at the same time, with the first kind I tried, I remember telling the girl at Walgreens, “He’s the only person I hate when I’m on this stuff but he’s the reason I’m on this stuff.”

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