I Am Stephie’s Cyst
And I will cost $2,000 and three days off work to fix!
The bad news (I mean, the other bad news) is that the cyst goes all the way back to my palatte and up to my sinus cavity. I saw a 3D x-ray of my skull; it was f*cking horrifying. The good news is that my surgeon thinks the bone can heal itself, so he’s just going to rip open the roof of my mouth and clean it out. I don’t have to go under if I don’t want to, but I probably will (after a minor panic attack).
Maybe the guy who dropped me on my face has won the lottery since the last time we spoke? That would be nice. At least I get to eat ice cream for three days straight.
I Am Stephie’s Freckle
And I’m not melanoma!
I Am Stephie’s Cervix
And I have pre-cancerous cells, which are spooky but very common, and 7 out of 8 times they go away. F*ck off, pre-cancerous cells!
I Am Stephie’s Circadian Rhythm
And I am all kinds of f*cked up!
Having tons of trouble sleeping, but I’ve also gone over 11 months without prescription sleeping pills, so I’m just going to be even more disciplined than usual and hope for the best.
I Am Stephie’s Legs
And I can run 6 miles in 63 minutes! F*ck you, Cyst!
*You can tell how I’m doing financially by how many F-bombs I drop in an entry.