Today I was at the Y, and while I was making my way from one machine to another, one of my favorite trainers came up to me.
“I just wanted you to know that a lot of people have been commenting on how hard you work here,” Ed said. “They talk about remembering when you first started coming here, stuff like that. You know, you’re inspiring a lot of people. Really.”
I’ve hit a massive rough patch lately, with SADS and birthday parties and Christmas food and stress. I’ve been feeling like shit about it, too.
Maybe Ed could tell I needed to hear that? Or maybe he really meant it. Either way, I’m going to work a little harder for the rest of 2011. Thanks Ed.
I haven’t been this tearfully PMS-y since, I don’t know, my last big break-up? I’ve cried about 6,000 times in the past 4 days, mostly without reason.
Jen and I check in on each other via email at least once a week. I was going to tell her I’m sad and PMS-y, then realized I send that email to her all the time.
The other day I was a bitch and instantly remarked to Justin, “That was mean of me. My head is hurting, is all. I’m sorry. It’s PMS.”
“You PMS a lot,” said Justin to his first long-term girlfriend.
“Dude, it’s one week every month. That’s one out of four. I will spend a quarter of my adult life feeling like this. (beat) OH MY GOD I’ve never thought about it that way before. THIS IS A TERRIBLE THING TO REALIZE.”
(Gif from the totally hypnotizing If We Don’t, Remember Me.)
Have you guys ever been injected with iodine? Because it’s kind of
“You’ll start to feel warm,” he told me as he injected saline into my IV.
“Oh okay, good to know,” I said, averting my eyes to the ceiling.
“Like a hot flash.”
“But before that? Like, right away? You’ll have this awful taste in your mouth.”
“And then sometimes? People say it feels like they’re peeing their pants.”
And guess what, dudes. IT TOTALLY FEELS LIKE YOU’RE PEEING YOUR PANTS.
The craziest part is it all happens in a few seconds. I mean, I’ve watched movies where people inject heroin and get shivery right away, but I’ve never thought about how bloodstreams work like that in real life. For some reason I thought I would have to sit and read a magazine for 10 minutes; the speed was completely unexpected. Well, this isn’t too bad. Hey, something tastes funny. I guess that’s the [WHOOSH] OH MY GOD I PEED MY PANTS.
And then he said, “Now, don’t move.”
(Gang is now launching home invasion to get revenge on Gil/Stephen for ruining their already shitty house. Confident in their security system, they try to set the code. Reese: “Dad. David’s got the code.”)
Stephie: Should’ve watched Battlestar Galacticaaaa…
(The Bear is battering down the door with a log.)
Erin: Did he cut down a tree?
Christy: (as stepmom) Stephen, did you fuck up their house?
Last week, Erin had the awesome idea to drunk blog the Marky Mark Masterpiece Fear. This was the first R-rated movie I ever saw in the theater illegally. (I exclaimed, “I can’t believe she didn’t card me!” literally 1 second after I bought the ticket. The theater employee was either extremely cool or extremely lazy.) I love this movie. I also love drinking, blogging, and hanging with Erin and Christy. Clearly I was down.
The result? Hilarity. Well, hilarity, typos, and oversharing. Want to read it? You’ll have to go to Erin’s blog. It’s just one click. Don’t be scared. Marky Mark is too busy stalking Nicole to snap your neck. Maybe. Probably best to not draw attention to yourself, though.
Watch the trailer below. Then CLICK HERE!
A few months ago, my hairdresser Barbara was cutting my hair while I rambled on and on, as usual. I was talking about my Year Without Goals, moving back home, and other stuff that you know about. I get a kick out of wowing Barb.
I don’t remember what I was talking about when this happened, but at one point she stopped cutting, looked me right in the eye and said, “You can do anything you want to do, you know that?”
Without hesitation, I said, “Yes.” And I meant it.
Back when my dad was in the nursing home… location #5 out of 12, I believe, I took Justin to meet him for the first time. My mom was there, too.
“You know what’s nice about being here, Stephie?” he asked.
“What?” I said as I turned him on his side, trying not to hurt his second freshly-amputated leg.
“Your mother lets me watch any football game I want.” he bragged, and we all laughed.
So along those same lines, you you know what’s been good about all this crap with my dad and all these hospital visits and waiting rooms?
Now I feel like my mom is one of my best friends.
And while I would still give anything for my dad to not be sick… it’s nice to focus on one of the few gifts that came out of it.
I do this once a year and the results are always hit or miss, but it’s time for the annual Shortcake Roll Call.
If history and my stats are any indication, then officially 1% of my daily readers will answer my roll call, which is silly. But I’m having a super depressing day, so I’ll take what I can get.
SO – do you read Shortcake? Leave a comment! Don’t want to admit it? No problem – use a fake name! And to make this topical, tell me about the best Christmas present you ever got.
No picture because I’m super fat and sad and poofy-eyed today. You’re welcome.