F This March: Fuel and Finally Writing That Post About The Spot

I’ve been walking to work at least three times a week lately, so it’s time to step it up. I’m going to fill up my gas tank tomorrow, and then that’s it for the month.

(I was about to type, “I’ll only use half of it this month”, but I might want to visit my mom or grandma, and poor Justin has been driving so much for school and work that I try to drive when we go out. Still, it might happen!)

The other goal is self-explanatory. Poor Ron. I hope I can find that napkin where I wrote down everything that happened.

The Best Fever Killer Is Whitney 24/7

I’ve been getting better about not pigging out this month. I swapped out coffee for green tea at work (ginger green tea; normal green tea tastes like spinach), I’ve been making protein and fiber a priority at every meal, I’ve been rocking the kale chips, and if I get hungry at a weird time, I drink some water or go for a walk first.

I’ve been walking to work or running every day so that I can still eat like a normal person. I’ve only been to one party since I started making a conscious effort, and my P90X partner Jane was there to help me behave myself.

In fact, out of the last 5 days, I’ve burned 1,000 calories more than I consumed for 4 of them (and even on the party day, I burned 750 more). It’s a big deal for me but not very interesting for you, huh?

Other than that (or including that), life is pretty boring right now. Justin has had an awful fever for 3 days and his school/work schedule is literally about to kill him, so I’m taking care of him and myself today and that’s about it. Our 2 1/2 year anniversary was yesterday and we were going to celebrate with a Blondie’s brunch, but right now I’ll just settle for him being alive. It was really awesome to see all of my Napa friends at Kendra’s fun baby shower yesterday, though. I’ll be more interesting next time, haha.

Poor baby Justin. He’s so miserable. I hope he likes Whitney, cuz he’s getting a full dose today.

F This February: Food and Falling Asleep

Okay, so I’m well into the P90X, so this month the goal is food. Specifically, stop eating all of it. There will still be food there tomorrow if you leave some, Stephie. Good grief.

It’s one thing to eat whatever you want when you’re running 7 miles a day. It’s another thing to eat all the food when you’re doing P90X, which burns like 300 calories, tops. And when your life mirrors a meme a little too closely:

… then your life needs a little work. And a lot less Party Pizza.

Regarding the other goal, anyone who has had sleep issues will tell you that it is impossible to diet when you’re tired. I mean, your mental capacity is basically legally drunk at that point, and we all know how we eat when we’re drunk. Sleepless nights mean craving sugar, carbs and not giving a fuck.

I’ve been reading the Game of Thrones series (GAME OF THROOOOONES) on my Kindle at night and it’s been keeping me awake (GAME OF THROOOOONES) so it’s time to add a little sleep hygiene to my nightly routine. I would also love to run a few miles some mornings while I’m doing P90X, and I can’t really do that unless I get to the Y by 5:30 or 6.

So, sleeping and protien. Gonna be an exciting month, friends. I know you’re pumped for this.

P90X is going well. I was thrilled by how much my abs and back hurt after day 1. Plyo Day was something I’ve been warned about by everyone, but it’s like a tamer Insanity workout without the pushups, so I was fine. Today is normal freeweights, so I’m excited, though my 10 lb. dumbbells might not be heavy enough. We’ll see. Anyway, so far so good!

P90X’scuse Me?

Jane and I are meeting up at Dewey’s tonight so she can loan me her P90X. (Hey, if we’re talking about fitness, I count it as a workout.)

However, I just looked over all the manuals and things she emailed me last week (JANE ROCKS!) that go along with it, and holy crap. If I really want to do this right (I ignored the Insanity Diet completely, which was probably my downfall), then it’s going to take a lot of discipline and a lot of planning. I may need a week to get my shit together before I can actually start this. (Which is probably good anyway, considering how much food people throw at me during my birthday week.)

Do I really need to do this? Well, I think I found my wedding dress. (!!) It’s a BCBGMAXAZRIA from last year, but I found it new online for crazy cheap. And by cheap, I mean cheap enough that I went ahead and bought it with my own money, and if it doesn’t work out I can just resell it on eBay.

The downside? They only had it in a size 4. Eek! I can get myself into a size 6 with no problem–I’ve done it many times–but I’ve never tried to aim for 4 before. To give you an idea of what I’m working with, I’m currently (re: barely) a size 8. But like I said, if I can’t get into it by THIS May, then I can just resell it with plenty of time to buy a different dress.

Either way, I’ve discovered that the secret for cost-conscious, casual girls is to search for a wedding reception dress rather than an actual wedding dress. I mean, can you see me in some big foofy get-up? Me either.

F This January: Update 1

I met with my trainer Patrick last night. I think I threw him for a loop because I either rocked moves (free weights, weird crunches) or couldn’t do them at all (one-legged squat, chin ups). I’m going to start meeting with him at the beginning of next month, and hopefully Steve is burning my P90X as we speak.

He thinks he’ll be able to get me to do a chin up in 10 weeks, which is adorable. I took Weight Lifting during my entire senior year of high school and centered my entire curriculum around doing a chin up, and after 9 months–where I lost 45 pounds and could bench 75% of my weight–I STILL couldn’t do one. I’m going to attempt one every time I visit the Y, so maybe that will help? Doubtful.

I’ve also created a little morning/lunch workout to do in my office which includes the one-legged squat. Seriously, all those meathead dudes watch me run 5-10 miles at a time every week and I felt like we were at a level playing field–now I can’t even do 10 reps of some bullshit move? It was mortifying. Ugh. Anyway, I can’t really walk today but I feel super buff. I would rather be drinking. 😦

“She’s Not That Chick Who’s Singing, Is She?”

I know I was going to work on Faith later in the year, but on a whim I decided to attend church this Sunday.

It’s called The Gathering, which sounds a little creepy and culty, but that’s sort of the trend with any younger, larger church these days. Also, I grew up in a church where people speak in Tongues and fall over and read Left Behind, so nothing can really faze me these days, outside of blatant bigotry and political stuff that makes me nauseous.

F This January: Fitness and FIANCE (and Facial Swelling)

Just so I don’t let this thing drop off before I’ve started, January’s goal is to hire a personal trainer at my Y and/0r get Steve to finally burn me the P90X dvds he promised me. I’m pretty good at getting in shape on my own, but I have the feeling I could be using different machines and free weights. I’m sort of in a rut with those. I want to be semi-ripped by April.

I had my surgery this morning. Ooooh anesthesia. Ooooh gurl. Oooooh OOH. Now I understand what everyone was talking about! I mostly maintained my composure; the girl next to me collapsed into a clearly-never-high-before fit of giggles. (Not that I’ve ever been high before. Internet.)

So far the swelling and pain aren’t too bad (unless you are talking about how much my wallet hurts). The real ugly starts tomorrow, apparently.Justin is an amazingly great caretaker and even had a stuffed monkey waiting for me in the car when they walked me out.

I didn’t really have a panic attack before my surgery like I thought I would. Turns out the drugs are in the IV; I fell asleep waiting for the mask everyone told me about. I’m pretty grateful for that. I did get kinda emotional on the way there because this is my very first surgery, and everything about it reminded me about my Dad.

I haven’t really found the time to get into this on the blog, but I was recently diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s from the last few years with my dad. I’ll go into it more some other time, but I’m still crying about him at least once a day. It’s usually less than a minute, but it’s not about grief or missing him. It’s flashbacks, anger, and just thinking about everything he went through. I can’t stop putting myself in his shoes and it’s painful, but I’m aware that what I witnessed was pretty traumatizing and this is a common reaction. I’ve gone back to awesome Dave and have some good books and techniques to work on, but going through my first surgery hit a little too close to home in that area.

And well, there was a little grief today. If anyone could have calmed me down and walked me through this, it would have been him. But I tried to imagine what he would have said, and that helped a lot. Getting to say, “My fiance” like 10 times when the nurses asked me about my driver helped, too.

Blah Blah Wedding Cakes:

My favorite photographer (Ben of the Beth Grant video awesomeness) is free on the date that I want! Biggest priority is booking a venue in the next few weeks. This is not a section about cakes; we already know we’re copying off my cousin for that because it was fucking delicious. (If you don’t know what “Blah Blah Cakes” is about, then you must be younger than me, at least where the Internet is concerned.)

Wake Up and Fight

 

If you’re my Facebook friend/stalker, than you know this already, but those bartenders are my grandparents and that little Shirley Temple on the bar stool is my mom.

SOOOOO 2012. I got a little sick of the Year Plus in 2011, though I liked the concept and I may do it again in the future. 2012 is going to be a little different.

2012 is the year where I’m not sad about my job, I’m not sad about boys, and I’m not sad about any terminally ill people. (Excuse me while I knock on wood three times.) This is the year when I have no commute, no legit worries, and no major responsibilities outside of a job that I love.

So if there was ever a year to take control of my life–all the shit I try to change every year, and somehow come short–this is it. Fuck that stuff. Fuck those struggles. Fuck trying, fuck failing, fuck wishing.

This year, I’m going to F This 2012.

Rather than coming up with something each month, I may focus on the same areas but approach them in different ways. The main areas? Food, Fitness, Friends, Family, Finances and Faith.

I’m kicking my debt’s ass. I’m losing the weight I’ve gained at this new job. I’m running faster, I’m going out more, I’m doing some damn crunches, I’m calling my Grandma, I’m cooking, and I’m even going to church. (It’s cool! It’s Methodist! Don’t worry!)

Nothing groundbreaking this year and no more crazytalk (no cheese? puh-lease), just good old-fashioned resolutions, one topic and one month at a time. Assuming nothing crazy happens (which of course means something will), I’m pretty confident this year.

My ultimate goal is to someday have a list as great as Woody Guthrie’s (click to enlarge; you know how the Internet works):

Tonight: two parties! Look out!