Iceland, Day 6

Today could best be described as The Day We Ate Iceland. Mood Music!

(The “blurred lines” are our stomach linings. In hindsight, I have no idea how we did this.)

First, I’ve mentioned the superiority of Iceland’s continental breakfasts many times, but this one was the best that we had.

We left Rangá and headed back to Rekjavík. On the way, we stopped in a teeny, tiny town for some of their famous lobster. 300 grams of lobster, to be exact:


We wanted to go to the haunted house next door, but they were closed. So instead, we stopped by a craft collective. I browsed through tons of wool sweaters, lava jewelry, gnome ornaments, gnome everything, but nothing spoke to me.

Then I spotted a small room in the back with a stack of afghans in the corner. I picked one up and immediately fell in love. I was in the middle of talking myself out of it based on the price, but then Justin appeared next to me, glanced down and said, “That looks like you.” That settled it.


At the register, the woman told me that it was knitted by a 90 year-old lady in a nursing home! I told her to tell the lady that a couple on their honeymoon bought it, and they would treasure it for the rest of their lives together. Okay, I wasn’t that cheesy, but that’s how I felt. My Icelandic blanky is my favorite thing in the world.

(I did not eat it, but I love it so much that I could.)

When we got back to Reykjavík, Justin made us walk to Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur, aka “The Best Hot Dog in Town.” That’s right, the most famous restaurant in Iceland is a hot dog stand. Bill Clinton has been here!

On our journey, I noticed blue footprints painted on the sidewalk and followed them to this:


It looks cute, but we accidentally stumbled into the Portlandia of Iceland. The woman looked straight out of Reality Bites, nose-ring and all, and the dude had long blond dreadlocks and a resting bitchy face. They were not happy to see us, or anyone I think. This was a vegan cookie shop, which I didn’t realize until after I bought the cookie. Vegan food can be delicious, but this tasted like dirt. I threw it away after one bite.

For dinner, we went to a famous tapas restaurant! It was underground and so cozy!

We could have eaten a ton of weird stuff, including whale, elk and puffin, but I mostly stuck with lamb and some bacon-wrapped dates.

Final stop: oh my god.

I knew I would love this place right away:


We ended up staying here past midnight, so I’ll talk about it next time!

FEATURED FOOD: baked goat cheese with honey. Don’t tell Justin but this was maybe the best orgasm of my honeymoon. (At the very least, it was a tie.)




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Iceland, Day 5: Part 2

I’ve never been a big moody music fan (I like it, I just won’t pick it over fun stuff) but I recently started playing Sigur Rós while I write. The first time I gave them a serious listen, I started crying. It’s exactly what Iceland feels like. Exactly.
Mood Music!

After our adventures at Skógar, we headed to Vík, a black sand beach!



We pulled into a pretty remote parking lot to park, and guess who was right behind us?

Needless to say, we fled soon after. Even though Reynisfjara Beach is just on the other side of that cliff in the first picture, we had to drive about 10 minutes to get there. Instead of black sand, we were greeted with smooth rocks!

The closer you got to the water, the smaller the rocks became. I could make a million dollars selling bags of this at Pier One:

The rocks were so weird to walk on! It was incredibly zen. The coolest part was when the tide came in. Instead of retreating back out to sea, the water would roll in and then immediately sink into the rocks, leaving a little foam outline as it vanished. I could have watched it forever.

Reynisfjara is also home to a huge, gorgeous cave called Halsanefshellir and the famous Basalt columns.




Here’s Justin standing in the cave for scale:

Our stalker pulled up just as we were leaving. I think we lost him here, unless he’s hiding in my treehouse as I type this.

Our first stop of the day was supposed to be another waterfall, but it was raining very hard when we arrived. Justin was incredibly sad about it, so I said, “When we pass it on the way back, the sun will be out and there will be a rainbow.” AND GUESS WHAT.


Seljalandsfoss is one of the most well-known waterfalls in Iceland because you can walk behind it!


More magic moss!



Here’s another rainbow. You had to climb up this insane pile of wet rocks to get back to the path. I was so relieved when I reached the top of this that I started laughing like Sloth from Goonies.

Finally, we went to our hotel… but the adventures were not over! Hotel Rangá is awesome! It’s the only 4-star resort in Southern Iceland.

The hotel felt like the Great Northern from Twin Peaks, which was appropriate considering how we met. There was even a backwards “Laura” on the rug in our room. Creepy!



We think that the tour company told Rangá that we were on our honeymoon, because we were surprised with an upgraded suite!


This was the view from our balcony. Every room has a balcony or a patio because when the Northern Lights happen, the hotel will give you a wake-up call.

The game room was also stellar:


We loved this puzzle so much that we bought a poster version of it in Rekjavík.


FEATURED FOOD: We ate a 4-course dinner, sitting right next to the window, but the restaurant was really fancy and I didn’t want to be tacky by taking pictures. (This was like the only time I didn’t wear my awesome hat on the trip.) However, I am 99% positive that lamb was involved. I ate lamb almost every day. So here’s a picture of a dope lamb kabob that I ate a few days earlier.




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Iceland, Day 5: Part 1

Mood Music! Justin put this on a mixtape when we first started dating, and that’s how we discovered we both loved Iceland:

Today was so full of stuff that I’m splitting it in two.

We started the day at Eyjafjallajökull, the volcano that blew up in 2010 and stranded a million people in Europe, including my ex-roomate Dan. This volcano is literally someone’s backyard.

The people who live there did what anyone would do in that situation: they built a shack across the street and made a museum! There were tons of crafts made out of volcanic ash and lava, like candle holders and soap. This is where I got my second-favorite souvenir (it means “I don’t speak Icelandic”):

Screen shot 2013-11-16 at 7.02.02 PM
This is also where we encountered our stalker for the first time. At first I was like, “Oh, that is the cutest van!!” but then we saw it everywhere and it was like a Japanese horror movie where the adorable child is actually a demon who swallows people whole:

Up next, Skógar Folk Museum and the Communications Museum! We made friends:

Skógar Folk Museum is full of amazing Icelandic art:


There was also a taxidermy room, where we discovered us in a past life (the mouse in the background is Chauncey).

The Communications Museum was incredible: old rescue vehicles, exhibition gear, and literally every piece of technology that has landed on that island. My AV Club President husband was in heaven:


Found my birth parents.

Sure, these homes are covered in dirt, but they are fancy as hell on the inside!


These homes were exactly my size. We came across one room with cots lining the walls. Your arm span is equal to your height, so here is proof that I fit in hobbit beds:

Look at me. Just tickled to death.

Justin was waaay out of his element, but my people and I did not run him out of town with pitchforks:



There were at least 10 structures, and I fawned over every inch of them.

There were even a couple two-story turf homes! Justin is literally 2/3 down the staircase here:

On the same property was Skógafoss! Pictures never do these things justice, but just look at this son of a bitch:


That guy in the red jacket on the bottom left? That is our Happy Camper Stalker, in the second of many sightings. At one point, only the three of us were left and when he walked past Justin, I thought my husband was going to get stabbed. Did I mention he looked exactly like Jen’s uncle Bob?

He stood in the same pose for a long time. No, like: a loooooong time.


Anyway, this is the day we really got to experience all the green magic moss. Justin took about 6,000 pictures of it. I felt like I was in New Zealand or on another planet.

Justin bought us rain jackets and rain pants for the trip, so we could go right up to the bottom of the waterfalls and stuff. Plus, it was a little drizzly all day, but with our outfits it didn’t matter.


I mean, really: Spirit Animals? Past Lives? Twinsies?

FEATURED FOOD: Cool American Doritos.




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Iceland, Day 4

We could only pick up Top 40 radio stations in the car, so we heard the same 10 songs over and over. Fortunately, this was the week that “Get Lucky” and “Blurred Lines” dropped. Mood Music!

On day 4,we headed back south. The fog was crazy! This is what a typical town in Iceland looks like:


And a typical rest stop? Look at this shit. We were walking to get lunch (and free wi-fi!) and I turned around and just started laughing.

Even the tiniest things are cute. It’s hard to tell in the picture below, but that green traffic light has a happy face on it. Justin told me that while I was sleeping, he drove through a speed radar and it displayed his over-the-limit speed along with a frowny-face.

This was a fun adventure day! All three stops were within an hour of our hotel, so we just did a nice little circle around the area. First stop, Kerið. This was a giant volcanic crater. Not much to do besides walk around it, but for Missouri and Indiana kids, it’s kinda neat.

Up next? Motherfucking Gullfoss:

In pictures, it’s not as pretty as it is in the spring or winter, but in person it’s completely overwhelming. Above is the top of the waterfall. Here is how far down it goes:


The craziest part is that they let you walk on the slick, flat rocks at the very top. This is where I would’ve died if I had worn my adorable yellow boots.

Our last stop was the Great Geysir, Strokkur. Not really picture-worthy, until the BOOM:

Strokkur was home to a great lodge that looked like a 60’s Howard Johnson’s, btw. Finally, we headed back to our hotel, Grimsborgir. Look who we found along the way!

Grimsborgir was an absolute delight. This guy had a towel draped over his forearm almost every time we saw him. He was so nice! (That’s an autographed picture of Bill Cosby behind him.)

We didn’t just have our own room this night–we had our own little house!

With Stephie-sized showers! Yay! There was a hot tub outside, but it was right in front of someone else’s window.

This night was unforgettable because: Eurovision.

Eurovision is like American Idol except it’s the Olympics. Each European country picks one singer to compete, and then the entire continent votes. We were eating dinner in the hotel’s restaurant when the Icelandic artist sang. The whole room dropped everything they were doing to watch. “It’s Iceland!”, our host said, so proud and happy.

Every song in the competition had been playing on Top 40 radio for a while. We had no idea what was going on at first, so this one was extra confusing. Make sure you wait for the dubstep to kick in:

(If you’ve never been to Europe, the way you felt watching that clip is basically how Europe feels.)

The voting phase was really fun because each country’s version of Ryan Seacrest took turns reading their country’s polling results in broken English. After so many adventures, it was nice to relax and watch some monumental TV. But don’t worry, we did it the American way–by building our own couch:

FEATURED FOOD OF THE DAY: I didn’t eat anything that unique today, so here’s the paper I read while drinking some afternoon espressso:




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Iceland, Day 3

Mood Music!

On day three, we stuck to one area on the Snafellsnes Penninsula, here:


Justin made us stop at one of the many, many lava fields along the way. I am too short to get a decent picture of this, but this field felt like it went on forever. It was overwhelming to think about how it must have looked and felt when it first appeared, as well as how old it was. Most of the lava fields are covered in moss today. If it was anywhere else in the world, I would have probably thought about all the death and destruction, but considering how empty Iceland is today, I guarantee it destroyed, at most, two or three huts.  It was so eerie and beautiful!


Jusrin also planned a stop at Búðir. Apparently, he has always loved this church, so we stopped to take a closer look. I cannot stress enough how beautiful this place was. There were waterfalls dotted along all of the snow-covered mountains. There was an old graveyard out back. The church was surrounded by yet another lava field. And past the lava field, the ocean. Absolutely stunning. Like most places in Iceland, it was empty and we got to appreciate everything alone.


He was heartbroken that the hotel next door was booked solid when he planned our honeymoon. But I like where we ended up, just down the road at Hellnar. The hotel was adorable, but the best part was just a short walk away: Badstofa sea cave!

This cave is known for its incredible lighting, thanks to the hole in the top. There were seagulls everywhere. You have to climb over a beach full of pebbles and round rocks the size of basketballs.

I think this is the day I started thanking Justin profusely for the ugly brown hiking boots that he bought me 12 hours before we left. I had bought these adorable yellow rain boots because I heard that I would need them for the waterfalls and stuff. That was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done. I basically would have died without those hiking boots.

It was impossible to not think you were in The Goonies while standing in that cave. Another thing that added to the childlike, magical vibe of it all? The winding dirt path down the hill and the little cottage that you encounter along the way:

We saw people eating on the porch, so we knew that it was a restaurant of some sort. The inside was teeny, just two little tables, a counter and tons of traditional Icelandic art. A tiny old woman greeted us and we asked for a menu.

“Oh, I don’t have a menu,” she said in a thick accent. “I have waffles, [something], [something], and fish soup.”

Obviously, I ordered waffles and obviously weirdo Justin ordered fish soup. We also had coffee with real sugar and cream! I gave up all those creepy artificial sweeteners years ago, so I’ve been drinking black coffee for 4 years. I forgot how incredible the real stuff is. Oh, and my waffles had real butter. The best part? They were heart-shaped. Tell me this isn’t the perfect honeymoon picture right here:

The old woman and the cottage really reminded me of the witch in Hansel and Gretel. Justin and I both whispered this to each other at the same time. Then as we were leaving, we passed two German tourists and heard them whisper, “[Something something] Hansel and Gretel.”

Then we hiked over to the sea cave. I think Justin was about to cry, he was so happy.

Up next, Lóndrangar! Getting there was quite the journey. We started by climbing a giant hill to get to the
Þúfubjarg cliffs:

Then we had to climb down this crazy-ass path:


Here I am whimpering in the face of death:


THEN we had to hike through this huge lava field along the cliffs. This was taken about halfway through; the hill we climbed down is in the distance. It took over an hour to hike all the way. It was so much fun! This is the day I discovered how much I love hiking.


Finally, we reached Lóndrangar. These are volcanic plugs. The taller one is from the mid 1700s, the smaller one is from 1938. They’re so old that the volcanic crater that surrounded them has completely eroded.


This was another time that I felt like I was in some sort of children’s movie, where the evil queen lives:


I highly recommend hiking as a honeymoon activity. It’s such a great bonding experience!


Finally, we ended the adventure by seeing a big rock sculpture (not pictured) in a gorgeous fishing village. (Though, it should be noted that basically every village in Iceland is a fishing village.)

Oh! Longtime readers will love how we ended the day. At the Mall of America, we came across the As Seen on TV store. I told Justin about my old obsession with Kinoki foot pads. He thought it was hilarious so he bought some (what a romantic!), and this was the night that we tried them out! Yay!

I am thrilled to report that the infomercial does not lie. The pads started white and turned completely black and sludgy. (Justin took a picture, but it grosses even me out.) I also felt amazing the next day. Was this because of the detox pads or because honeymoon? I really want to try them again!

FEATURED FOOD: Heart-shaped waffles, duh!




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Iceland, Day 2

Mood Music!

For our second day, we took a Jeep tour of some of the best spots in Western Iceland. To get to our tour guide, we had to drive though a very long, very hot tunnel under the ocean. I did this once when I traveled from London to Paris, but it’s much creepier in a car.


The other side was gorgeous, though!


We were dropped off with our official guide at a random gas station. The Jeep was massive. I think I pulled at least three muscles climbing in and out of this thing all day:


Our first stop was at the hot spring Deildartunguhver. Throughout our trip, we heard about the geothermal aspect of Iceland, but this is one of the few times we experienced it up close. Iceland basically powers their entire country on this stuff. You can bake bread just by sticking the dough in the ground. The steam smelled strongly of sulfur. This is our Viking tour guide:


Because we went to Iceland during the end of the off season, there wasn’t as much green as you would normally see. However, in places like this and the waterfalls we visited in the south, the moss on the rocks was practically glowing.


Up next, Hraunfossar. There’s not much to explain; it was just gorgeous. Look at that blue!



The area included a hiking path. Justin brought 4 cameras to Iceland, 5 counting his phone, so I would often walk ahead of him while he snapped a million pictures. (This is why half of my pictures are of Justin taking pictures.) So I would often come across something amazing, then get to watch Justin turn the corner and react to it, too. When I got to these rapids, I just started laughing at how insane it looked. And when Justin saw them, he laughed too.


Up next, a glacier! That’s right, a fucking glacier. It’s called Langjokull. I had no idea that we would be driving to–and on–this thing. We were introduced to the power of this Jeep right away when we started driving on roads deemed “impossible.”


Like, look at this hill. Those other tire tracks are at least a foot deep. I would have trouble walking up this hill, let alone driving. We slid side-to-side like we were on a rollercoaster, but we made it! I can’t believe I didn’t puke. Then we drove up 15 more hills just like it.


The glacier was 32•F–not cold at all! Here’s my husband on a glacier without a coat:


There was a group of people camping and para-sailing on the glacier. They were gliding on the snow for what seemed like forever. In hindsight, I wish I had asked them if I could try, but that glacier was no place for an injury. The remoteness was terrifying. Anyway, this guy glided (glid? glode?) by our Jeep on the way out and asked if we wanted some coffee. When we said no, he smiled and just sailed away.


There were a couple camps on the bottom of the glacier, and even a cottage. Also: sled dogs! I have finally seen sled dogs! They did not look friendly:

So how does a car drive on ice? By taking some of the air out of the tires. More surface = more traction. Any time we had trouble, he jumped out to let out air and that did the trick. I wonder how people figured this out? When we got back to civilization, we had to stop to put the air back in.


There are horses everywhere in Iceland. These guys were gorgeous! Our driver pulled over and said, “Would you like to make some friends?” They came over to us right away.

Look at my handsome husband. Jeez.


Our driver also moonlights as a camera man for the many films and commercials that are shot in Iceland. You’ve seen the Fjord below a million times, even if you don’t know it. Whenever you see a car weaving around a mountain road near the water in a commercial, it was probably filmed here.

Finally, we went to Þingvellir! This might be my favorite stop of the whole trip. This is where the tectonic plates for two continents meet. See that giant crack in the earth?


That’s Europe on the left, America on the right. At one point, Justin and the tour guide left to go find the bathroom, so I was left alone staring at this thing. I felt like I was on the edge of the earth, and I guess technically, I was.

The coolest part about Þingvellir National Park is that you get to walk in the gorge and, if you wander far enough, you can find places where they almost meet. The tour guide actually drove to the other end of the path so that Justin and I could have the whole place to ourselves. That’s right, our own personal tectonic crevice. We both got to stand on two continents at once!


Oh, just before we went home, we passed this stream and the tour guide said it’s some of the clearest water in the world. All in all, an unforgettable day!

FEATURED FOOD: Pepperoni Taco. I got it at the gas station.




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Iceland, Day 1

When I was 12, I joined Columbia House (for the first time). I chose my 11 free CDs, but couldn’t find anything else I wanted for my 12th. I browsed through the catalog, and I remember being fascinated by Björk’s Debut – her very weird name, her wild hair, her alien face. I’d like to think that album was the one that cost me a penny. From the first listen, I was in love. Thus began a two-decade love affair with Iceland.  (I faithfully bought every Björk album until the Dancer in the Dark soundtrack–I’ve already watched someone go blind in real life and have no desire to watch it onscreen.)

Mood Music!

When Justin and I first started dating, one of the first things we bonded over was the fact that we both had always wanted to go Iceland. So when he surprised me with this honeymoon, I was ecstatic for a million different reasons. Plus, after 18 months of wedding planning and saving up vacation days, it was well earned. I know that most women look back on their wedding day as the best day of their life, but I prefer to think about Iceland, and traveling around such a gorgeous, weird, fascinating place with my best friend, who was possibly even more excited than me.

There’s waaaaay too much to cover in one entry, so we’re going to do this one day at a time. Well, today you get a bonus day, too.

In order to get to Iceland, we had to fly out of Minneapolis… so we flew in the day prior. We had a whole morning to kill, so we went to Mall of America, which was right down the street from our hotel.

Mall of America is, in fact, very big… but for some reason, it didn’t feel as big as I thought it would. I think that’s because aside from the amusement park in the middle, it’s all very much like a normal mall. There were 4 stories, with several wings on each floor. There were at least 6 different Lids locations. It was pretty hilarious.

We spent 5 hours walking every inch, with a lunch break in the middle. I could write a whole entry about Mall of America, but I’ll sum it up with this picture of an Orange Julius and my favorite purchase:


The flight to Iceland was only 6 hours. Flights from the US typically leave in the early evening, so you arrive at about 6 in the morning the next day. Iceland Air is wonderful! Also, they waste no time finding a place to land:


Justin booked everything through a great travel agency called Nordic Visitor, and they sent a driver for us. He held up a sign with our name on it at the airport! We have fucking arrived, folks! He also had one of those cars that runs on trash. Whee!

Because it was our honeymoon and we were ballers, we got the biggest suite in the hotel. A two story room, with the only balcony! It was a great way to kick things off.



This is where we got to experience our first Icelandic continental breakfast, which I’ve already established was legendary. The hotel restaurant was so cool! These numbers were made out of screws:


Our waitress looked exactly like Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I was polite enough to not take a picture.

Soooo… Reykjavík. How the hell do I describe Reykjavík? It’s the largest city in Iceland… really, the only city, with 2/3 of the country. But it still feels small. Every building is unique and colorful. Businesses and homes are side by side. The people are so nice and so insanely happy! Everything is so clean, even when it is covered in grafitti. I wanted to stay there forever. I don’t know what else to say.


Harpa, Iceland’s largest music venue:


We only saw terrible skateboarders, but there were so many and they were so dedicated:


A beautiful home (a fireplace in the front yard? Hi.) and their awesome garage:


Vikings and gnomes were everywhere!


My favorite spot was The Laundromat Cafe. It was kind of like Rooster in St. Louis… cool decor, crowded, so hip that it might be overrated but who cares? They had free wifi! Woo! Also, delicious food, incredibly nice people and the best hot chocolate of my life, or at least until I realized that everyone in Iceland rocks at making hot chocolate.




Okay, so, Justin also made me go to the Icelandic Phallological Museum. That’s right, the Penis Museum. You guys, it was so fucking gross. The one guy working there looked exactly like you are imagining he would look. I just wanted to take a shower. Sure, there was hilarious paraphernalia like this:


… but there were also preserved penises in jars. Like this sperm whale penis, which is taller than me:


I came across one penis toward the exit of the museum, and I yelled to Justin, “Gross! This one is covered in hair!” Then I looked at the label and yep, it was human. That’s when I screamed, ran into the gift shop and refused to come back. That’s right, the worst part of my honeymoon was a male human penis.

Finally, we visited Hallgrímskirkja, which is the large church in the center of the city. This is where people get all of those famous shots of the colorful roofs. I could have stood up there forever. Reykjavík just makes me so happy!

(After the museum, the shape of this church was a little traumatic.)




FEATURED FOOD: Hot chocolate! Whee!




Björk on her home planet (she goes outside around the 2:00 mark):

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