Champs and Chumps III: C + C Shout Out Factory

One more time – we’re gonna celebrate…

CHAMPS cards

Big Love: If you know me, then you know about my obsession with cults. I am utterly fascinated with cults and weird religions, so you know I love me some Big Love. My favorite episode of any TV show is the mandatory, gimmicky “cult episode” where somebody gets sucked into a group or religion that’s just a bit off (see: Boy Meets World, Veronica Mars, Family Guy, 21 Jump Street, etc.)… so this is like my favorite episode every week. I’m not necessarily talking about the Mormon belief in general, but about those compounds and communities hidden around Utah, which this show discusses at length. It’s so effed up, which makes for effing awesome TV. However, could we lighten up on the gratuitous Bill Paxton ass shots? It’s getting out of control, or as Jen put it, “I think that time I saw some junk!”

Mark: “Just a reminder that I still love you. I love you so much I would save you if you were in the middle of burning lava. I love you so much that if you were a cat I’d buy you fancy feast every day, none of the dry food. I love you so much if we were ever in a music group together, and I became the most popular, I wouldn’t sell you out for a solo career. Just thought I’d remind you how much I love you.”

Maxim: For sending me a message on MySpace asking me to be in their “Hometown Hotties” section. If you know me, you’re laughing hysterically. I keep picturing showing up to the shoot wearing PJ pants and a hoodie, and being like, “Okay, let’s do this.” But thanks anyway. Honestly, I’m more flattered that I get to be in The Takedown’s Top 8.

Liz: Because she’s using three colors in her wedding, and she told me that I get to pick the color I want to wear… and then she went on to say that I can pretty much pick out the dresses in general, because “I mean, you’re the one wearing it…” Fun! Despite how much I hate shopping, I think I’ll be okay with Liz around, and here’s why: every time I call her from the mall – and I mean every time without fail – I find an outfit that I absolutely love. This only happens when I’m talking to Liz and it happened again yesterday, so she gets an extra CHAMPS card for that. And I guess she can have another one for the whole “congratulations on getting married” thing.

Sunflower Seeds: How else can you eat for three hours straight and only consume two teaspoons of actual food?

Steven King: For writing a column called “Confessions of a TV Slut”, which makes me feel better about sometimes skipping the Shakespeare for Flavor of Love. There’s something reassuring about the fact that Steven King feels my pain. And he understands my obsession with Veronica Mars and Lost, which means we could totally hang. Maybe now I’ll be able to sleep at night after reading his shit.

Six Degrees of “Everything Stephanie Thinks Is Awesome”: Here’s one example – the theme song for Veronica Mars (my favorite show) is by The Dandy Warhols (one of my favorite bands) and can be found on the album “Welcome to the Monkey House”, which is also the name of the first book I read by Kurt Vonnegut (my favorite author), which I picked up when I was fourteen because it had the word “monkey” (which is my favorite animal) in the title. And last night’s episode included Maeby and George Michael from Arrested Development (another favorite show), a guy from X-Men (my secret favorite franchise) AND a shout out to TWoP (my favorite website). And it just kind of goes on from there…

Got all that? Lately all of my favorite books/movies/actors/whatever have been showing up in the same places or showing love for each other and it just adds an extra element of awesome to it. Also: Stephanie likes Veronica Mars? No shit?

Flying: Because it’s the perfect excuse to buy 3 or 4 books I’ve been meaning to read. I’m stopping by the bookstore before I go to the airport and I can’t wait!

Everything is Illuminated: Although I don’t really want to read the book, I’ve heard amazing things from my friends who have. Bill showed me the film adaptation the other day, and it was unbelievably witty and touching. The first half is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a long time, and the second half is one of the saddest… which is a pretty decent ratio, considering it’s about the Holocaust. You’ll understand when you see it. And you should see it. So go.

CHUMPS cards

Tony: For moving. Moving is for sucks. Now all five of my fiancés live out of town. Which… I guess means I have room for one more? Crazy Mike? Anybody?

Calendar Clusters: I’m going to Florida this weekend. While I’m really excited about it, I’m bummed out because I have to miss Mark’s stand-up gig, The Takedown show, and Tony’s goodbye parties. Hey guys, do you know what I did last weekend? I slept, I read Shakespeare, and I watched 21 Jump Street. All weekend. Can you distribute the fun stuff evenly throughout the month, s’il vous plait?

Life: You know how they say it’s good to be sad, because otherwise we wouldn’t know what it means to be happy? Well, I haven’t been sad in a really long time… and I was starting to take all the happies for granted. I’m really bummed out today and I almost forgot how much it sucks. But still, I’m dealing with it a million times better than I would have a year ago, and it’s nice to realize that… so there’s a silver lining, I suppose.

Packing Lots of Clothes in Tiny Suitcases: Because asking me to choose between my pink hoodie and my green hoodie is like asking me to choose between my children.

The Mall: Nice try, MALL. As if you’re off the hook just because I found one cute outfit. CHUMPS to you for even thinking we’re square.

1 Comment

Filed under Champs and Chumps

One response to “Champs and Chumps III: C + C Shout Out Factory

  1. Kevin

    just stay one step ahead of MALL and you’ll be alright.

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