Brothers Gotta Hug: The Petrelli Nuclear Man-Love Extravaganza

If you haven’t watched the Heroes finale yet and you want to be surprised, don’t read this entry. Yes, I just crossed the geek threshold. You can’t see this but I’m giving you a Vulcan salute.

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Other stuff first: for the third week in a row, someone I know is in Entertainment Weekly. This almost makes me wish I wanted to be famous, or at least more of a namedropper. Alas. Congratulations to all you dudes. I’ll give you a shoutout someday when I’m less likely to embarrass you.

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It’s times like these that I have to fill my life with funny, sexy things. And nothing in the world is as hot or hilarious than the Petrelli Brothers.

In case you don’t know, the Petrelli brothers are two of the main characters on Heroes. Nathan is a politician who can fly. He is smarmy and cocky, yet somehow reassuring. His little brother Peter is an Empath, meaning he absorbs the powers of those around him. This may also explain why he is so sensitive and bitchy.

I’d like to think I’m mature enough to not laugh at Hoyay. And obviously I don’t think incest is funny or interesting. (Anybody remember Chad and Whitney from Passions? I’m saying.)

However, every scene with the Petrelli brothers makes me and Jen collapse into a fit of giggles. Those two CANNOT keep their hands off of each other. I get that they’re Italian and passionate and whatever, but between the constant goo-goo eyes and the NONSTOP shoulder rubbing, it crosses a line or two. Peter seems codependent and Nathan comes off as a tad date-rapey.

Again, this wouldn’t normally be funny. Maybe it’s the intensity of Adrien Pasdar’s acting or Milo Ventimiglia’s bangs. Whatever it is, it’s freaking hysterical. They’re like Brad and Gwenyth. Please catch a rerun and watch for it.

Last season, Nathan and Peter saved the world with a mid-air Bro Hug. A Total Eclipse of the Heart. The Power of Love. See: blog title. It was so sweet. I love how Claire the Cheerleader looked completely mortified and grossed out by her father and uncle.

Unfortunately – and here comes the spoiler – Nathan got shot in the most recent episode. They’ve already brought like 4 people back to life, so I think Nathan is gone for good. I’m a bit appalled by how much this depressed me. The world NEEDS the Petrelli brothers, and more importantly, Peter needs Nathan. What’s he going to do now, find that lame girl from Ireland? YAWN.

I’d like to have a moment of silence for the Petrelli brothers. Mohinder and Matt may be all My Two Dads, but they are only half as funny and hot. R.I.P., Nathan Petrelli. R.I.P., steamy bro action. You will sorely be missed.

Kiss him! KISS HIM! AAAGGGHH!