Don’t Tell Him I Did This …

… though to be fair, the temporary tattoo was his idea. I still have a giant one with his name on my arm. Best Valentine’s Day Ever!

OH! A while ago I promised I would tell you the tale of my tragic 2008 Valentine’s Day, and since (hopefully) everyone involved in this story is over their feelings by now, here it is:

I went over to Pat’s house. This was a few days after our first – for lack of a better word – “date” where I introduced him to Everything Is Illuminated the film and he told me about Everything is Illuminated the book. He greeted me in the driveway with a copy of the book as a Valentine’s Day present. Jason had told me that I should “absolutely not” get Pat a present, so I wasn’t expecting anything and was extra touched.

Pat told me that he had ordered a pizza. The pizza guy shows up and it’s [name withheld], this dude who had a big crush on me a few years ago. I used to see him at Target when he worked there and he would, like, run away from me. One time right after Brian and I got back together, we went to a Halloween party and when [name withheld] saw me and Brian together, he got really upset and apparently some tragic and embarrassing stuff happened because he was really drunk. He made this huge scene in the front yard while I was out back and then ran home. I didn’t know anything about this for months. (All I knew was that he got drunk and ran home dressed as Teen Wolf and at the time I thought it was hilarious.)

So anyway, pizza guy comes to the door and it’s [name withheld] and he sees me inside and freezes. Pat was like, “Want to come inside for a second?” and [name withheld] is like, “Nah.” and runs away.

Pat shut the door, shuddered and was like, “Did you get a really weird vibe from [name withheld]?” and I told him the story and he was like, “Oh, right.”

Then, not even FIVE MINUTES LATER, Pat’s best friend – who ALSO had a crush on me a few years ago* – shows up. He walked inside and saw me and his eyes immediately narrowed. Then his phone vibrated (I will not be a dick and claim it was a fake call, even though) and he went outside for a second. When he returned, he said he had to meet someone in the city, where he just came from and then he ran away.

Pat was like, “What the hell?” and then I cleared my throat and he was like, “Oh, right.”

So anyway, a “second date” on Valentine’s Day and two of his friends who once claimed to love me and hate me for not loving them back show up within five minutes of each other. That happened. This year was much better, though being in a Breeder’s video in 2009 was pretty kick ass, too. Whatever, VD2010 wins.

*Back in 2004-2005, I was The New Girl in a group of friends with a very long history and very few newcomers, so when my out-of-state boyfriend dumped me, all the boys pounced. (All the boys, that is, except for Pat which probably explains the crush.) (Oh, and also Ron, duh.) I don’t blame the crushes on anything except my novelty, but there were seriously 5 dudes on the case. At the time, I was like “Wow Ron, your friends are so nice,” which cracks me up in hindsight.

It’s weird, I should remember that as a sad time where a boy broke my heart, but I just remember the excitement and electricity, like that first week of high school where everyone had a crush on everyone and every single interaction was charged with meaning and hormones and the such.

This goes without saying but the title of my post applies to everyone involved.