Do It For Torty

I got my new glasses. You guys! They are so cute!*

I had planned to only wear them while driving or at meetings. But, like most people who get glasses, I had no idea how visually-impaired I actually was until I put them on.

“How do they look?” the guy at Lens Crafters had asked me.

“Oh wow,” I said calmly, nodding at a poster across the store. “These are great.”

“Look out there,” he said, pointing behind me, out into the mall.

HOLY $*&@!” I cried, with children nearby.

Did you know that I’ve been seeing things through a Barbara Walters Special fuzzy filter? I didn’t, until last night. I can still see things within arm’s reach (or slightly longer; my arms are short) at a 20/20 level, but anything further is appallingly cloudy.

I would love to wear them 24/7 (or I guess 16/7), but I’m very new to glasses and very prone to motion-sickness; if I’m not looking straight ahead while moving, I get a bit nauseous. Justin said I should pick all day or short spurts and just stick with it, but I’m still on the fence.

*The tortoiseshell frames match my tortoiseshell watch perfectly, so my co-workers decided that I now have to sit with my hand under my chin at all times.

P.S. That’s one of my new Anthropologie sweaters!


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3 responses to “Do It For Torty

  1. When I finally got glasses, I couldn’t believe that I’d ever had the balls to drive at night without them. It was like the difference between driving sober and driving shitfaced, but not so shitfaced that you attain superhuman amazing driving powers.

    (I kid, I kid.)

    • You’re so right. I almost crashed the first night because I kept taking my glasses on and off and yelling, “WHAAAAT”. The other night Justin and I were at Clayton and Skinker, turning left onto 40, and I said, “This is the first time in years that I actually know for a fact that I’m in the right lane.”

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